One more day

So, New Year’s is tomorrow. Personally, I can’t wait for the new year to get here.

 

I’ll take a second to reflect on 2005. It has been a tumultuous year.

 

WORK

The year started off with me getting reduced to part time at my old job, hence requiring me to find something else to make house payments and what not. I fell into a great project, thanks to my old boss. That helped pay the bills for a few months. As a result of that project, I ended up landing a job with Infitech, who was also working on the project. I really couldn’t be more thankful for that. Infitech has been great to work for this year. I feel like I’ve finally found a decent home. The pay is pretty good, and I have a lot of leeway with what I do. I’ve really enjoyed getting back into the technical side of things after an almost 3 year hiatus. And I find that I’m still pretty good at it too J. Infitech has big plans for me, and I can’t wait to see what 2006 brings.

 

PERSONAL

Boy, where to start. I started the year still reeling from the divorce. I still felt cheated, wronged, and incredibly angry at what she did to me. I accept my part of what happened, and I know that neither side was innocent. That doesn’t make it any easier. However, I did finally get the house refinanced, so I no longer get mail with her name on it, and that helps a lot.

 As the year went on, I found that the people I called my friends really weren’t the people I wanted to be with anymore. Maybe I grew up some, maybe I simply came to my senses, I’m not sure. I USED to have a group of friends that I could absolutely count on, that supported me no matter what my decisions were, that would stand up and smack me when I did something or contemplated something stupid. That group I got rid of to be with my current group. That has to be one of the worst mistakes I have ever made. I found that I felt the people I was hanging out with cared about nothing other than themselves, and where they were getting their next bag of sunshine from. Not only that, but to be threatened physically, in front of 1000 people no less, by someone who called me his brother not 6 months earlier, for absolutely no reason (11 witnesses to back that one up), really took the cake. I have not spoken to that individual since that time, and have no plans to do so moving forward. Although I will be hanging out with the group for NYE, since my friend is in from China and wants to see everyone, that will be pretty much the last time I do so. Most of them don’t know that yet, and frankly, I’m not planning on telling them.

            In the past 4 months, I’ve found that I enjoy spending time with myself again. I haven’t since before the divorce, and I’m pleased that I’ve made enough progress that I can be alone and actually be ok. Although I still suffer from bouts of extreme loneliness, especially since I don’t feel I can really hang out with my group anymore, I find that gets better day by day. I was in such a bad place after the divorce. I feel like such a different person now.

 

 

 

 

LOOKING FORWARD

            2006 will be an interesting year I think. I’ve got a lot I’d like to do, and a few things that I have to do.

 

I’ve got to get back into studying for my certifications. The test I failed (not by much, but still) in August really shook my confidence. Thankfully work has been patient with me. I plan on starting up again in January.

 

I have to manage my money a little better. I get by just fine, can pay all my bills, etc. I have a wonderful house to live in that’s all mine. However, I seem to be really bad at saving for the things I want to do, and I’d like to change that.

 

I want to go to China to visit my friend Joe. He lives in Tianjin, about 2 hours north of Beijing. My friend Greg has been there a few times, and loves it. (Heh, he actually found a wife there, and is trying to get her back to the states now!) There is so much history there, and I really want to see some of the places that most of us only read about occasionally.

 

I want to buy a new car, so I can stop worrying about the one I have. Besides not having a radio, which sucks for a musician, it’s just really getting old. Almost 180,000 miles!

 

I AM quitting smoking NYE. I am finally tired of it, and what it does to my body. It will be tough, but I think I’m ready for the challenge now.

 

I want to continue with my Kung Fu class. I’ve really enjoyed that the past two months, and am very thankful to my co-worker Keith for getting me into it.

 

I want to find a new group of people to hang out with. I’ve been hanging out with the same people for nearly 10 years now, and it’s time for a change. I need to find people that are more compatible with myself. I’ve settled for people that don’t have a problem with various illicit substances, and that’s a problem. No more.

 

I would really like to meet someone this upcoming year. With the marriage and then divorce, I haven’t been in the dating pool since I was 19 (!!!). Since I will be 30 this upcoming year, that is a really scary thought. I have absolutely no idea what to do! Although I get along just fine with the women that are in my life, it is very, very daunting to think about trying to find someone again. I need to do it though, I really do. Any man that tells you he can get along just fine without a female companion is lying to you J. (Exception made for gay men, they can do that just fine, they simply find another good man and are set)

 

 

 

Well, I think that’s all my thoughts for now. I hope everyone that reads this has a safe NYE, and best wishes for a happy 2006!