Hmmmmmmmm

Alright, quick weekend update.

 

Friday Jen was out of town at a wedding, so I went to a Pimp and Ho costume party with some of my friends. It was a combination Halloween and birthday party. As the last gift in the pile to open, my friend Randy hid an engagement ring inside another present for Mandy. So that went over well, he proposed, and everything was just peachy. It was a bright spot in an otherwise mundane though not unenjoyable evening. It did really drive home the fact that these really aren’t my people anymore. I had nothing to talk about with anyone, and I found that the people there were talking about the same things they were 4 months ago. I felt like telling most of the people there to get a life. (I mean really, who comes to a party to bitch about work?)

 

Saturday was lots of waiting for Jen to get home honestly. I did some things around the house. Then when Jen finally did get home around dinner time, we had a nice night together.

 

Sunday Jen went to her girls lunch, while I watched the Bengals game and did a few other little things. We watched a movie that night. Well, I should say I watched a movie. I thought guys were the ones that were supposed to fall asleep during movies? Jen and I haven’t successfully watched a movie where she didn’t fall asleep I think.

 

 

Yesterday sucked. It really felt like I couldn’t do anything right. Work was horrible, ran into more than one problem that I simply could not figure out. I didn’t get to eat lunch until 4PM, and since I didn’t eat breakfast, that was brutal. Then went to Kung Fu last night, and because of the late eating, I had zero energy. Halfway through the last class I just simply couldn’t do it. I forced myself to go through the motions, but I just couldn’t put any more into it. I won’t go into what happened when I got home, but lets say that the theme of not being able to do anything right held true there too. It was a frustrating day all around.

 

Today I am just down. I had an early meeting. I got no sleep the night before. I’m starting to feel like I’m running in circles again, and I don’t quite know what to do about it.

Friday!!!!

Well, it’s Friday again! This is the just the third Friday since the end of June that Jen and I aren’t planning a trip to or from Chicago. It’s really nice. Jen is still 5 hours away, in Youngstown for a wedding. But, it’s not Chicago!!

 

Jen got here Wednesday night, and we had a nice night together. Then last night Karen came all the way out to the eastside to have dinner with us. I fixed up some potato soup, and it turned out pretty good. I think I know what I can do to speed the process just a tad, as it did take nearly 3.5 hours to make. But I was overly cautious about not burning the milk, so I think I can use some more heat next time and get done a little faster. I was pretty happy overall, and it was great company and a nice night in to welcome Jen to Cincinnati.

 

Jen and I are slowly getting things together. Finances are going to suck the first month, since her house isn’t sold yet. Paying for two mortgages on two houses is not an easy thing! But, we’ll figure it out, I’m sure. Figuring out all of the various house things will take some time, but I don’t think it will be bad overall. Again, it’ll just take some time.

 

It’s funny how easy it is to fall back into the pattern of living with someone. I already know which towels are hers, and I don’t use those. I already sleep on “my” side of the bed, even when she’s not there. All those little things came back right away, even after 3 years of living very, very much alone. And it doesn’t sound like much, but it makes all the difference in the world.

Crunched

It seems like time is crunched together. This week has positively flown by so far.

 

Obviously the big news is that Jen will be in town in a few hours. Which means that our new life together technically starts tonight. Very exciting!

 

I finished Cell unexpectedly the other night. Ending was totally not what I was expecting. Not bad, just different. Very quick read overall, enjoyable, but nothing to write home about methinks.

 

Being around generally smart people all of the time, I forget sometimes that what I do makes no sense to anyone else. Case in point……. I had a weird confrontation with an older, shall we say countrified, gentleman today. I was eating lunch, minding my own business and checking email on the phone when this guy just sits down across from me in my booth. He asked me if I was playing some video game or something. I said no, tried to get back to eating and working. He asked if it was one of those “pod-things”. I laughed, said no, explained that it was a tool for work, and that I was doing email. He looked at me with this totally blank stare. I said, you know, email, like letters, but on the computer. No response…. But he wouldn’t leave! So I explained that I was talking with my customers over the internet….. to which he said “So you’re looking at porn, because that’s all the internet is good for, right?” It took every once of restraint I had not to bust out laughing. I politely explained that no, there are many other ways people use the internet, etc. etc. etc. I finally got him to leave, and the waitress came up and apologized to me. She said that he is in the restaurant every couple days, and he always picks someone to pester, and that he was harmless, etc……

 

Talk about odd!!!

nothing in particular

So we now have enough plates and cups and what not to feed approximately 35 people……….without having to do dishes. And that’s enough pots and pans to fix it all.  Obviously this is going to have to be one of the first rooms we sort and figure out. I have copious amounts of cabinet space, but not even my kitchen can contain this cornucopia of cookware!

 

 

I have made excellent progress on my new book, Cell by Stephen King.  Nifty little technology goes bad story so far.

 

I feel like I haven’t had much time to read, but I look at it now and realize that since July, I’ve finished 9 books. And this is getting like 30 minutes a day to read, so that’s not too bad.  But I haven’t made a choice on what to read next yet. I have a few in mind, but haven’t decided.

Quick Weekend Update

Well, we got everything moved. After an exhausting weekend, 99% of Jen’s things are now at my place. We organized most big things yesterday, at least for now. We need to go through everything and get rid of what we don’t need, but that can be done over time. At least most of it is done, and by Wednesday night, Jen will be a permanent resident of our house.

The Weekend, and Dreams

Well, the weekend was pretty good overall. Jen and I went out for a casual dinner on Friday night in Chicago, then got up to help her roommate move out. This was pretty easy and was over quickly. Then we went to a few malls in the Chicago area to do some leisurely shopping and spend the day together. This was capped with a nice quiet dinner at a local brewery. We went home and actually fell asleep early. We got up early to go to one of Jen’s soccer games, where I was recruited to serve as a human ladder so they could put the nets up. After that we had another couple’s massage, which was fantastic, though both of us are actually sore today afterwards.

 

 

So, there this that’s really bothering me and I haven’t been able to figure out how to put into words.

 

On Thursday, I found a notebook in my closet while cleaning things out and getting ready for Jen to move down. This notebook was in my ex-wife’s handwriting. So, I of course had to open it and read it. That was incredibly dumb of me. The notebook contained approximately 18 months or so of all the things that she bottled up towards the end of the marriage. These are all of things that came out with such a vengeance at very end. Most of these were things that I had no idea were going on. Some of them I knew about, but those were definitely in the minority.

 

To see these laid out in order, and to see that all of these were there but never talked about is somewhat frustrating. I’m sure that some of the non-communication was my fault somehow, but I’m certain, especially after seeing this, that not all of it was. Not even most of it I think. Taken individually, each of these things could have been solved at the time they happened, had they been brought up and dealt with. Bottled up for at least 18 months (for these written things anyway), there was no way in hell we had any chance whatsoever.

 

Seeing these in this way makes me angry. Considering what was written, the last few months were nothing more than a ploy for her to get more time. She had her mind made up at least 6 months before papers were filed. I feel like I was led to believe there may have been a chance, and that I jumped through hoops for waaaaaaayyyy too long to try to fix something that wasn’t fixable. Yes yes, I get that some of this was my own fault. That I wanted to see that chance. However, after reading the notebook, I think some of it was premeditated as a form of revenge.

 

 

Anyways, I burned the notebook, along with a few other things I found from her at that time. This was strangely satisfying.

 

 

However, since Thursday, I have had dreams every night with my ex-wife in them. Some of them have been nightmares, some of them have been pleasant. But every night, she has been there. In some we are friends again, in others we are forced together at some type of event for a mutual friend. In most, I’m still with Jen. (In one or two they have even fought, which is strangely funny and exciting at the same time……)

 

 

 

So I don’t know what it means, other than I haven’t been getting much good sleep since Thursday…….  I’ll let you know if they continue……………..

Nothin

Ya, I got nothin, sorry.

 

The past week has been hectic yet not.

 

I didn’t go to Fu all week due to doctor’s request that I take some time off to let my knee get a little better. (I did, went back tonight, feel pretty good really). So no surgery, just do whatever my pain level will tolerate. Watch the knee on that side for hyperextending, which is what is causing the pain. If the pain doesn’t decrease in 3to6 months, then go back for exploratory surgery.

 

So I did some stuff around the house, got caught up with a few friends.

 

Friday I went to Brian’s ex Erin’s wedding. That was alright. Nothing too special, non-traditional in some ways.

 

Saturday was Greg’s reception. That was fun, and it was nice to see Lingling having some fun around English speaking people again.

 

Sunday I went to a Fu party for our teacher Joe, who was crowned Grand Champion at the tournament in Sept. That was lots of fun. We ate, we hung out, we talked Fu, we watched some of the video footage. It was lots of fun overall.

 

 

 

I haven’t felt like I have much to post.  I’ve been on a pretty even keel recently, so no big drama to report or bitch about.

 

I’m anxious to get Jen moved down here and stop this distance relationship. After a few months, it really wears on you. I don’t show it near as much as Jen does sometimes, but I feel it just as keenly. I’m like anyone else, and I have my worries and concerns about working everything out once she gets here, but I can’t say that I’m not looking forward to it regardless.

 

I have a thousand times more confidence about this relationship and this choice than I ever did about my last marriage. But, I was young and stupid, and I thought there weren’t any problems that couldn’t be fixed somehow. I know now that 1)not all problems HAVE to be fixed, 2) not all problems CAN be fixed, 3) sometimes the problems aren’t the important things that have to be worked out.

 

 

Overall, I’m perfectly content with my life at this moment, and the future only looks better. What more is there to say?

Nikki's Wedding

So, Nikki's wedding was last night. A good time was had by all, and I didn't even trip walking Jen and Nikki's mom down the aisle to light the unity candle!!

Seriously, the evening went quite well, and I think everyone had a good time overall. It was a somewhat early night, as we left at 11:40 and everyone else had already gone and everything was loaded into cars to take home.