Sleep

Yep, need it again. I got none last night, had trouble sleeping with Jen gone this time.  But, that means the book I started Saturday will be finished tonight.  I love finishing books in under a week!

 

I’ve been pondering the rest of my life, and my life before now recently. I’ve spent most of my life looking for something, and I’ve searched in all sorts of places. I’ve used all sorts of chemicals to help me search in the past, and I’ve come close to finding it there, but there’s always something missing.

 

 

I think it comes down to this, and this is a mantra that I repeat often because I truly believe it.

 

 

I still believe in paradise. It’s not someplace you visit, or someplace you can live. It’s how you feel for one instant in time, and once you’ve experienced it, it will last forever.

 

 

 

And this is why I love Jen, because this is how I feel every time I’m in her arms.

Whirlwind Holiday

Whew, what a busy holiday!

 

Wednesday sucked, as I ended up working until nearly 10PM. So things got started out on the wrong foot for sure.

 

Thursday we did some decorating around the house, helping Jen get ready for Christmas. Then we went to Jen’s parents’ place for dinner. It was pretty low key, which was fine by me.  Still made for a long day however.

 

Friday we got up and went to go look for a new pair of glasses for me. It’s my Christmas present from Jen. Considering I got my last pair on Sept 22, 2000, it was long past time to go. We got a little bit of shopping out of the way as well. The good news is that my prescription hasn’t changed in 6 years. The new specs come in next week, since they are bifocals and they couldn’t do them in an hour.  Then Jen went to bake some cookies with my mom and her mom, and I stayed home to complete part of my Christmas present to Jen. I planted all the flowers that I had in the garage for next spring. I moved some of my existing flowers around. I moved everything out of the garage, swept it out, hung some cabinets, hung some shelves, and completely reorganized the entire garage. It is now much easier for Jen to get in and out of her car, and we have lots more room overall. It looks pretty good, and she was surprised when she got home. That night we went to Brian’s place for a small party. Cloppert, Brian, RaMandy, Al, Brandon and Marie, Jason and Alice, Greg, Kris, Nieport. Pretty much the whole crew was there. It was a nice time, and we got home pretty late.

 

Saturday we got up and went to the bank so Jen could open an account. We also had her car inspected by the BMV in preparation for her driver’s license transfer. We stopped at the grocery, then came home for a bit. Jen slept on the couch while I cut grass. (Yes, I had to cut grass the last weekend of November. If this is a side effect of global warming, it sucks.) I did a few other small things outside, then came in and woke Jen. She did some work in her office, and I finished my current book. I started book 2 of the series, then fixed us dinner. We ate, then watched the new James Bond, Casino Royale. I liked it, could be a very nice start to a fresh James Bond series of movies. We came home, and Jen wrapped presents. Greg stopped by for a bit, and we watched USC v ND. Jen fell asleep on the couch, and we ended up going to bed very late.

 

We got up early this morning to take Jen to get her rental car, since she leaves tomorrow morning. I came home and fixed her breakfast, like I have every morning this holiday actually. We are trying to just relax today, since it feels like the holiday has been entirely too short this time around.

Tired

So, I’m frickin beat today.

 

I got at 6:30AM Tuesday morning, went to my meeting, and then proceeded to get caught in a day from hell. First call went fine, then I had to pick up a bunch of equipment from various vendors around town, which was time consuming but fine. Then I got sent to a customer I don’t really care for. I fixed the initial problem in less than 10 minutes, at which point the customer told me they no longer wished to use the program, and had bought a new one. The new program didn’t work with her hardware, and forced me to uninstall the old program went I put it in. So, new program doesn’t work, so I try to reload old program. Won’t happen. Something is hosed in the registry, and the damn thing won’t load. Recommended fix from manufacturer? Reload Windows. Argh. So, this 10 minute call takes me 3 hours. Which makes me late for my project.

 

Project doesn’t get started until 5PM, can’t take servers down during the day. The project work goes pretty well, and I get the servers and networking equipment moved to where I want them around 9PM. During this time period, I get a panicked call from one of my other customers. Server problems. I get in remotely, apply a temporary fix, finish the project. I then run home so I can remote into this other customer. Long story short, I work on the other customer until 8AM Wednesday morning. Nightmare, just one problem after another.

 

I finally get it going, and I have to go straight from there to my first customer on Wednesday. Another project. I spend all day working on this project. My passenger tire is low, so I head to the gas station at lunch to fill it up. Everything looks ok, so I work on the project during the afternoon. On my way home, on 71S near Fields Ertel, I get a flat tire. So, I have to change a tire on 71, in the rain, when it’s 43 degrees outside. By the time I’m done, I’m soaked and freezing. I finally get home, get changed and go to the dojo.

 

I was in a daze most of class, too tired to concentrate fully.  I got home and pretty much get passed out.

 

I’m really feeling the effects today, very, very tired.

Weekended

Saturday was the drunken boxing seminar. Absolutely lots of fun, and my body hurts in all sorts of odd places. It’s a really neat kata. Very different than our normal stuff. Very fluid.

 

After the seminar, Rachel and I watched OSU destroy Northwestern. Was fun to relax and watch good college football.

 

I spent a lot of the weekend after that recovering. The cold snap really has done a number on my joints. Everything hurts, and my left leg in particular is killing me. I’m hoping working out tonight will put things right. We are supposed to do some partner stretching tonight, so we’ll see.

 

I got a lot of reading, and even played a new game for a while. Got a few things done around the house. All in all, too short, but not bad.

Oh yeah.....grrrrr!

Quick update I forgot to mention. My neighbor sold his house. New neighbors are moving in.

So what do they do yesterday? Put up a fence around their whole yard! I hate fences in general, and they closed off a beautiful green out my back windows.

It means I'll be planting lots of things along that side I guess. Pisses me off!!!!

Rainy Saturday Morning

So yesterday sucked. I had a job to do in Lexington at 7PM. Store has to close before we can swap equipment out. So, I get down there around 6 to get things unboxed and get ready to start at 7. This is when the manager decides to tell me that they aren't closing until 8. Why you ask? Because they have ONE customer that needs to come in late and ship something out. I ask the manager if he's joking, and I get a very caustic look. He wasn't kidding. They do this at least once a month for this customer. So that sucked big time. I didn't get home until 12:30.

 

 

So on this wonderfully rainy Saturday morning, I am going to the dojo for a seminar. (Actually I'm sitting in the Panera next to the dojo grabbing breakfast as we speak). This one is a benefit for a couple that attend the dojo. They recently lost their first child at 6 months due to SIDS I believe, and then Kelly tore ligaments in her knee about a month after that. So they are having difficulties, and our master thought this would be a nice gesture for them. I agree wholeheartedly, and this type of thing is why I attend the dojo that I do. It will be fun, and it will help someone at the same time. Good stuff all around.

 

 

Voting and Blahs

Yes of course I went out on Tuesday to vote. The lines were long, but things moved along fine. I was generally ok with how most things turned out, but then again, voting 3rd party means never really seeing your candidates win. At least not yet. But, it’s important to go out and vote anyway. Just for the issues if nothing else.

I’m disappointed the minimum wage issue passed. The part where employers have to disclose your salary to ANY interested party is really, really bad. I can’t believe that people didn’t look at that part of it. Would you want your ex-significant other to know what you make now? What about the principal at your kid’s school when they are figuring out what kids pay for what activities? How about the pastor at your church when he gets ready to ask for your tithe? Ugly, ugly stuff, I’m telling you.

I’m disappointed issue 3 failed. More money to Kentucky and Indiana, so let’s see just how much Cincinnati itself becomes a ghost town now.

I’m glad 4 failed and 5 passed. As an ex-smoker, I do find it difficult to be in smoking places. I understand it’s my choice, and I exercise that when I can. But it’s not always possible. Plus, now I won’t get cravings as often when I’m out. All around good deal I think.


I’m hoping today helps to clear the general blasé feeling I’ve had the past several days. My weather concerns are usually more physical than emotional, but this past stretch of gray days hasn’t been good for either. (The cold is horrible on joints, and it makes my foot scream a lot). It’s sunny and nice here, and should be at least part of tomorrow as well. However, I also get to work tomorrow night….in Lexington. Grrrr.


I’m having trouble posting more often recently. I feel like this is for lots of reasons. Time is a legitimate one, but probably the least valid. My original purpose of using this like a journal is more difficult now. Text can be so much more difficult to interpret than spoken word, and more than one disagreement has already been started over words posted here. I also feel like I can’t adequately express everything I need to here. Issues are more complex than I can convey properly.


I feel like I’m still caught up in a whirlwind. I’m afraid that while I have learned to be happy on my own, I’m no good at helping other people to be happy. I’m afraid that since my needs are simple and refined after my failed marriage, I am no longer able to understand the more complex needs of someone with a different background. I’m afraid that I am so comfortable on my own, and in my own head, that I can no longer really understand those who thrive off being around other people. I’m afraid that my silence at times gets taken for sadness or for anger when that’s really not the case.

I guess maybe I feel like maybe I’m just not good enough right now. And I don’t know what else I can do because I feel like I’m doing everything I can.

Voting and Blahs

Yes of course I went out on Tuesday to vote. The lines were long, but things moved along fine. I was generally ok with how most things turned out, but then again, voting 3^rd party means never really seeing your candidates win. At least not yet. But, it’s important to go out and vote anyway. Just for the issues if nothing else.

 

I’m disappointed the minimum wage issue passed. The part where employers have to disclose your salary to ANY interested party is really, really bad. I can’t believe that people didn’t look at that part of it. Would you want your ex-significant other to know what you make now? What about the principal at your kid’s school when they are figuring out what kids pay for what activities? How about the pastor at your church when he gets ready to ask for your tithe? Ugly, ugly stuff, I’m telling you.

 

I’m disappointed issue 3 failed. More money to Kentucky and Indiana, so let’s see just how much Cincinnati itself becomes a ghost town now.

 

I’m glad 4 failed and 5 passed. As an ex-smoker, I do find it difficult to be in smoking places. I understand it’s my choice, and I exercise that when I can. But it’s not always possible. Plus, now I won’t get cravings as often when I’m out. All around good deal I think.

 

 

I’m hoping today helps to clear the general blasé feeling I’ve had the past several days. My weather concerns are usually more physical than emotional, but this past stretch of gray days hasn’t been good for either. (The cold is horrible on joints, and it makes my foot scream a lot). It’s sunny and nice here, and should be at least part of tomorrow as well. However, I also get to work tomorrow night….in Lexington. Grrrr.

 

 

I’m having trouble posting more often recently. I feel like this is for lots of reasons. Time is a legitimate one, but probably the least valid. My original purpose of using this like a journal is more difficult now. Text can be so much more difficult to interpret than spoken word, and more than one disagreement has already been started over words posted here. I also feel like I can’t adequately express everything I need to here. Issues are more complex than I can convey properly.

 

 

I feel like I’m still caught up in a whirlwind. I’m afraid that while I have learned to be happy on my own, I’m no good at helping other people to be happy. I’m afraid that since my needs are simple and refined after my failed marriage, I am no longer able to understand the more complex needs of someone with a different background. I’m afraid that I am so comfortable on my own, and in my own head, that I can no longer really understand those who thrive off being around other people. I’m afraid that my silence at times gets taken for sadness or for anger when that’s really not the case.

 

I guess maybe I feel like maybe I’m just not good enough right now. And I don’t know what else I can do because I feel like I’m doing everything I can.

First Nov Weekend

The weekend was pretty good by all accounts I think.

 

Friday night my mom stopped by and took two of the chairs from my old dining room table to take to Columbus for my sister. We got to see Chloe for a short time when Kris dropped her off for Mom. Saturday Jen went to hang with her family and get a haircut. I went to the dojo. Kris stopped by and picked up a few more things, I did some laundry,  then I showered and waited on Jen to get home. We had a decent dinner, then we watched the first 4 episodes of ROME, the HBO series that’s been running. It was pretty good I think, but nothing spectacular. Sunday we watched the Bengals game, after I cleaned up downstairs and did some laundry. Sunday was a lazy couch day, we really didn’t do much.

 

All in all not a bad weekend.