Monday, April 03, 2006

Thoughts

So, again, I’ve been pondering big things over the weekend. Kinda goes hand in hand with not really being able to do anything.

 

 

I’ve been thinking about my life, and the lives of those around me. I’ve been thinking about how I treat others, and how others treat me. I’ve been thinking about those people most important to me, and how many people are just “filler”, for lack of a better term.

 

The important people……….there are so few. These are the people that I simply feel like I cannot live without. My life would be so different without them.

 

Those folks are: my parents, my brother and sister, Karen, Brian (whatever else may be said about him, he has been there for the most part, and he’s one of the few (they are all on this list) people that check up on me when I’m out of contact), and honestly that’s about it.

 

I feel like the rest of the people in my life I could live my life without, and my life wouldn’t be significantly different. Not that I wouldn’t miss people, not that I don’t enjoy those people when I hang out with them. They just don’t have that much of an impact on my daily existence.

 

I’m wondering if it’s sad that I have so few, or if I should feel lucky that I have as many as I do.  

 

I look at things overall, and I discover that I don’t treat the important people significantly different than I do the other people. I’m wondering if I should change that. Should I pay more attention to the people that pay more attention to me? Should I pay less attention to the people that don’t really seem to care if I’m around? I think I would be happier if I changed, but……….

 

 

I feel like I have a positive impact on those around me, which makes this a much more difficult question. The golden rule states that I should treat everyone as if they are the most important person in my life, and I really do try to do that. I feel like I bring a little bit of joy to everyone I meet. I try to have a positive attitude, I try to respect everyone, and I try to make sure that my happiness doesn’t involve making someone else unhappy.  I think those are pretty good things to aspire for, and I really try to live those things.

 

However, that being said, I find that I get a lot of nothing in return. I get scorn. I get taken advantage of constantly. I get stomped on, ignored, and downright insulted by people I’m trying to be nice to. I get no consideration for my time or my effort by other contractors, customers, friends, whatever. I get cut in front of, doors shut in my face, etc., etc.

 

 

 

 

 

I bring this up here because I am having some philosophical issues right now. I want to live good, and be a good person. But it increasingly feels like there is no point. People don’t care enough to make it worth it. Everyone wants to live their little lives, do whatever their job is, and go home and watch TV. That’s all anyone I know talks about is this show, or that show, or who did what on that one show. There is no thinking involved. There is no interaction involved. They are spoonfed this crap that they are supposed to like, so they do. Mainly so that they can talk to the other spoonfed people about absolutely nothing that is ever going to impact their lives, other than to make them unhappy they don’t have what the people on TV have.

 

I don’t have lights. I don’t have a remote. I don’t have 20 scantily clad college co-eds fighting each other in a vat of Jello. I don’t have a solution to all your problems if you only send me $5.95 plus shipping and handling.

 

 

 

I do have a brain. I’ll even use it on you if you give me a chance. I might even say something that breaks you out of the dull existence the marketers and tv folks want you to live so they can sell you more stuff that you don’t need so that you go back to the job that you hate so that you can earn more money to buy even MORE stuff that you don’t need.

 

But you have to give me a chance. You have to turn off that godforsaken box for 10 minutes and use your own brain! No, the remote you just picked up won’t help you there. You just go ahead and keep that in your hand, I see I’m wasting my time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1 comment:

Karen said...

sounds like you need another activity, ala martial arts. I agree with you that most of the crap on TV is just that - crap. as a person who didn't used to watch any and now watches some (Amazing Race and the Apprenetice) i can see the benefit of it - it's mindless. it's entertaining for the most part. it takes no effort or real emotion. all said - it's easy.

there are millions of people who sit around and do nothing but watch TV. They are probably thinking similar things of people like us who escape into novels (really the same thing as TV but you have to use your own imagination a bit more).

As a side note, thanks for listing me as one of your good friends. Back atcha. That's a darn big responsibility though- makes me think that i'll question my interaction with you more (am i giving you enough, am i letting you express yoruself enough, etc.) as you're not getting as many outlets to do so.

There are bunches of people in my life that i'd classify as "expendible" as well - i think that's just natural. the beauty lies in the butterfly effect if that would ever happen. That should give you a little more justification in living that golden rule you were questioning.