Saturday, March 04, 2006

Jack ass

So, when it comes down to crunch time, I just can't deliver. I had a whole night to talk to the person I'm interested in, and I couldn't think of a damn thing to say. Besides the fact that she was much more interested in one of the instructors that she used to live with, I just couldn't get it together.

I had a horrible case of the spills. I spilled drinks twice, which is two more times than I've spilled a drink in the past 9 months. I could think of nothing to say to her to try to start a conversation, so I just drank more to drown it out.

I'm sure I was a complete jackass all night, and I totally ruined any remote chance I had in the first place.

Maybe since I don't flirt with any women that are available I've lost any touch I once had in the past.

Maybe I'm fooling myself into thinking I have any clue what I'm doing anymore.

Maybe I'm fooling myself into thinking there is someone out there that can see past my stupid outside to what lives inside. I can't seem to show that person at the most important times, only to the people that already know who I really am and don't care anymore.


Bah, why do I feel 15 again and have no idea what to say to women anymore?

These are the times I want to go live in a monastery and forget all about this stuff.
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1 comment:

Karen said...

you are so funny. i think that just about every man alive in your single position is thinking and feeling the exact same things as you. The women are having the same feelings as well, but it's more along the lines of "i'm not good looking enough, why aren't any men hitting on me...."

i'm sure that you did not ruin your chance at LI. perhaps she's wondering why you didn't talk to her though... especially if she's interstested in you.

guys have it so rough- the pressure really is on your gender to initiate which i can only imagine is really hard. :(

10:48 AM

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