It was a good Christmas overall, I can’t complain. I got a
So, we got a kitten for Christmas from my sister. She’s been doing foster pet sitting for a shelter in
So everything has been great. It’s been one of the better Christmases I’ve had in the past few years, and for that I am thankful!
That’s all for now, I’ll post more soon!
So, getting used to a house without my rather large cat running around has been weird. She was close to 30lbs, so it’s odd things that I notice are gone.
I don’t hear the THUMP on the floor when she jumps down from the bed to greet me when I come home. I don’t hear her running up and down the stairs when she hears the food bag rustle or the treat drawer get opened.
I miss her getting under my feet all the time. Jen can tell you that she tripped me up on more than one occasion.
Moose is starting to miss her at this point. He doesn’t particularly care to be alone. He’s been wanting a lot of attention, which is somewhat strange for him. He’s been very vocal.
I spent most of Monday night cleaning half of the basement. Towards the end she had really done a number on the concrete floor, so it’s going to take me a bit longer to get it all right. I rearranged a few things last night as well. I hope to have most things done by Friday, but we’ll see.
Jen and I are going to get Moose a companion most likely before she leaves again on January 8th. Jen being home right now is a really good thing for Moose, because he doesn’t have to be alone.
The vet I went to in order to have her euthanized sent me a nice card in the mail yesterday that made me cry a little. It’s hard losing a friend you’ve had for 13 years, even if that friend can’t really talk in words. It was tough to bury her. I buried her the way that she normally slept, half on her side half on her back, with one paw covering part of her face. I buried her deep, and when spring comes around, I’ll plant a rose bush on top of her to mark the place properly.
The rose is a wonderful allegory for most friendships. They are a pain to take care of, they have thorns that can draw blood quickly and cut deeply, but they produce the sweetest smelling and most beautiful flowers around. I find it assuredly appropriate that I plant one where Ojos rests now. And considering that she liked to hide in my existing roses, I’m sure she would too.
Yesterday was one of the longer days I’ve had in a while.
Jen got home around 8PM on Friday. I made a broccoli/cauliflower/carrot stirfry for her (well, actually had it mostly ready by the time she got here), and we had a nice night together.
We woke up somewhat early Saturday. We went through a lot of clothes and drawers and filled 8 bags full of things to take to Goodwill.
Now, while we were doing this, Ojos, the sick one, has been acting very strangely. Very furtive, very distressed (you know, her tail is puffed out). I figure it’s just the plastic bags making noise bother her, but it’s enough that I notice it’s odd. We continue to get things ready to go, and I notice a smell coming from the spare bathroom. I figure no big deal, I had thought Jen might have used it earlier or something. Well that theory was wrong. Ojos had used floor mat while we were standing 2 feet away and the door open. Cats just don’t do that when they are well.
There’s just no time to really deal with it at the moment, because we have to get going to drop off Jen’s rental car, and then I had a test for my Green Belt in Kung Fu. So, we close the spare bathroom door and turn on the fan so we can get out the door. We drop off Jen’s car and head over to the dojo. My parents got there right after we did, so good timing there.
The test went ok. I hadn’t eaten beforehand because of the cat, and I ended up being a whole lot more nervous than I was expecting. I got through my material, but it wasn’t pretty. Regardless, I passed and I got my green belt!
So we come home from that, and Ojos has also used the carpet in our bedroom. We clean up both areas. Ojos knows she has done something bad, as she normally does. However, she is too sick at this point to do anything about it. So, after dealing with this off and on over the past 4 years, I make the tough choice and call the vet to have her put down. She was 13, and she was really starting to have a lot of difficulty. And she was absolutely destroying my house slowly.
It’s one of the toughest choices I’ve ever really made. She was a good friend, and a good companion. I felt like this was best for her, no more pain and suffering. So Jen went with me, and we had her euthanized at around 4:30 yesterday. They gave her back to us, and I’m going to bury her in the yard today.
After getting through that, Jen and I went to the Coyote Grill in West Chester to celebrate my dad’s 69th birthday. Good food, nice place. Then we attended a party on Jen’s side of the family. A general good time was had.
Jen was extremely supportive yesterday, and I am thankful. I’ll honestly admit that I cried a lot over Ojos. I missed her horribly this morning when she wasn’t in her normal place in front of the bathroom door or on the foot of the bed. She’s been part of my life since she was two weeks old, so it will take a while to get used to her not being around.
Jen and I are going to clean the house thoroughly, and then we will pick out a kitten to keep Moose company. It hasn’t hit him yet, but he will start missing Ojos soon.
Some thoughts for today:
How many of us, when thinking of the future, look no further than ourselves? What are we doing tonight, tomorrow, next week? Are we planning on children, are we saving for retirement?
I’d say 98% of us see the future in this way.
What does that mean for humanity in general? Especially in this country, we are taught to worry about ourselves and make sure that we as individuals plan for our own futures. However, what if Isaac Newton thought this way? Einstein? Let’s go back further…… what about various religious figures? Do you think Jesus thought only of himself? Buddha? Mohammed?
What are you doing to foster humanity’s growth rather than your own?
So, we went to
I took Friday off, so we left around 9AM and got up there. It was COLD!!!! The northern parts of town, where we were, still had as much as 6 or 7 inches of snow in spots, but nothing to really impede travel. We got up there around 2PM local time, and Jen went into the office for a few hours while I read. We went to a local brewery for dinner, which was awesome, then came back to the hotel to sit in the hot tub for a while.
Saturday we got up and went to a little café for breakfast. Being conscious of money at the moment, we decided to take it easy during the day, and just spent the time together lounging around the hotel napping and generally just being a cute couple. ;) Then we got dressed up and went to her party. It was very nicely done, at a country club up there. The food was fantastic, and Jen works with a genuinely nice set of people. I was honestly impressed with how much they really seemed to care for one another outside of work. So, it was a great night overall.
We woke up and got out of
A few thoughts for today:
Perhaps I am over sensitive, but it seems to me that the closer that Christmas gets, the ruder people get. Everyone feels like they are entitled to something or other, and they don’t hesitate to let you know that. It’s simple things, like other drivers behaving badly, people running to get through the door to a store or restaurant before you do (you know, they might run out or something), for even just everyday language. In the season of giving and kindness, I find those things get shorter in supply the closer the 25th gets.
I think that’s about it right now. I had some other things to say, but I can’t think of how to put what I want to say.
Yep, need it again. I got none last night, had trouble sleeping with Jen gone this time. But, that means the book I started Saturday will be finished tonight. I love finishing books in under a week!
I’ve been pondering the rest of my life, and my life before now recently. I’ve spent most of my life looking for something, and I’ve searched in all sorts of places. I’ve used all sorts of chemicals to help me search in the past, and I’ve come close to finding it there, but there’s always something missing.
I think it comes down to this, and this is a mantra that I repeat often because I truly believe it.
I still believe in paradise. It’s not someplace you visit, or someplace you can live. It’s how you feel for one instant in time, and once you’ve experienced it, it will last forever.
And this is why I love Jen, because this is how I feel every time I’m in her arms.
Whew, what a busy holiday!
Wednesday sucked, as I ended up working until nearly 10PM. So things got started out on the wrong foot for sure.
Thursday we did some decorating around the house, helping Jen get ready for Christmas. Then we went to Jen’s parents’ place for dinner. It was pretty low key, which was fine by me. Still made for a long day however.
Friday we got up and went to go look for a new pair of glasses for me. It’s my Christmas present from Jen. Considering I got my last pair on Sept 22, 2000, it was long past time to go. We got a little bit of shopping out of the way as well. The good news is that my prescription hasn’t changed in 6 years. The new specs come in next week, since they are bifocals and they couldn’t do them in an hour. Then Jen went to bake some cookies with my mom and her mom, and I stayed home to complete part of my Christmas present to Jen. I planted all the flowers that I had in the garage for next spring. I moved some of my existing flowers around. I moved everything out of the garage, swept it out, hung some cabinets, hung some shelves, and completely reorganized the entire garage. It is now much easier for Jen to get in and out of her car, and we have lots more room overall. It looks pretty good, and she was surprised when she got home. That night we went to Brian’s place for a small party. Cloppert, Brian, RaMandy, Al, Brandon and Marie, Jason and Alice, Greg, Kris, Nieport. Pretty much the whole crew was there. It was a nice time, and we got home pretty late.
Saturday we got up and went to the bank so Jen could open an account. We also had her car inspected by the BMV in preparation for her driver’s license transfer. We stopped at the grocery, then came home for a bit. Jen slept on the couch while I cut grass. (Yes, I had to cut grass the last weekend of November. If this is a side effect of global warming, it sucks.) I did a few other small things outside, then came in and woke Jen. She did some work in her office, and I finished my current book. I started book 2 of the series, then fixed us dinner. We ate, then watched the new James Bond, Casino Royale. I liked it, could be a very nice start to a fresh James Bond series of movies. We came home, and Jen wrapped presents. Greg stopped by for a bit, and we watched USC v ND. Jen fell asleep on the couch, and we ended up going to bed very late.
We got up early this morning to take Jen to get her rental car, since she leaves tomorrow morning. I came home and fixed her breakfast, like I have every morning this holiday actually. We are trying to just relax today, since it feels like the holiday has been entirely too short this time around.
So, I’m frickin beat today.
I got at 6:30AM Tuesday morning, went to my meeting, and then proceeded to get caught in a day from hell. First call went fine, then I had to pick up a bunch of equipment from various vendors around town, which was time consuming but fine. Then I got sent to a customer I don’t really care for. I fixed the initial problem in less than 10 minutes, at which point the customer told me they no longer wished to use the program, and had bought a new one. The new program didn’t work with her hardware, and forced me to uninstall the old program went I put it in. So, new program doesn’t work, so I try to reload old program. Won’t happen. Something is hosed in the registry, and the damn thing won’t load. Recommended fix from manufacturer? Reload Windows. Argh. So, this 10 minute call takes me 3 hours. Which makes me late for my project.
Project doesn’t get started until 5PM, can’t take servers down during the day. The project work goes pretty well, and I get the servers and networking equipment moved to where I want them around 9PM. During this time period, I get a panicked call from one of my other customers. Server problems. I get in remotely, apply a temporary fix, finish the project. I then run home so I can remote into this other customer. Long story short, I work on the other customer until 8AM Wednesday morning. Nightmare, just one problem after another.
I finally get it going, and I have to go straight from there to my first customer on Wednesday. Another project. I spend all day working on this project. My passenger tire is low, so I head to the gas station at lunch to fill it up. Everything looks ok, so I work on the project during the afternoon. On my way home, on 71S near Fields Ertel, I get a flat tire. So, I have to change a tire on 71, in the rain, when it’s 43 degrees outside. By the time I’m done, I’m soaked and freezing. I finally get home, get changed and go to the dojo.
I was in a daze most of class, too tired to concentrate fully. I got home and pretty much get passed out.
I’m really feeling the effects today, very, very tired.
Saturday was the drunken boxing seminar. Absolutely lots of fun, and my body hurts in all sorts of odd places. It’s a really neat kata. Very different than our normal stuff. Very fluid.
After the seminar, Rachel and I watched OSU destroy Northwestern. Was fun to relax and watch good college football.
I spent a lot of the weekend after that recovering. The cold snap really has done a number on my joints. Everything hurts, and my left leg in particular is killing me. I’m hoping working out tonight will put things right. We are supposed to do some partner stretching tonight, so we’ll see.
I got a lot of reading, and even played a new game for a while. Got a few things done around the house. All in all, too short, but not bad.
So what do they do yesterday? Put up a fence around their whole yard! I hate fences in general, and they closed off a beautiful green out my back windows.
It means I'll be planting lots of things along that side I guess. Pisses me off!!!!
Yes of course I went out on Tuesday to vote. The lines were long, but things moved along fine. I was generally ok with how most things turned out, but then again, voting 3rd party means never really seeing your candidates win. At least not yet. But, it’s important to go out and vote anyway. Just for the issues if nothing else.
I’m disappointed the minimum wage issue passed. The part where employers have to disclose your salary to ANY interested party is really, really bad. I can’t believe that people didn’t look at that part of it. Would you want your ex-significant other to know what you make now? What about the principal at your kid’s school when they are figuring out what kids pay for what activities? How about the pastor at your church when he gets ready to ask for your tithe? Ugly, ugly stuff, I’m telling you.
I’m disappointed issue 3 failed. More money to
I’m glad 4 failed and 5 passed. As an ex-smoker, I do find it difficult to be in smoking places. I understand it’s my choice, and I exercise that when I can. But it’s not always possible. Plus, now I won’t get cravings as often when I’m out. All around good deal I think.
I’m hoping today helps to clear the general blasé feeling I’ve had the past several days. My weather concerns are usually more physical than emotional, but this past stretch of gray days hasn’t been good for either. (The cold is horrible on joints, and it makes my foot scream a lot). It’s sunny and nice here, and should be at least part of tomorrow as well. However, I also get to work tomorrow night….in
I’m having trouble posting more often recently. I feel like this is for lots of reasons. Time is a legitimate one, but probably the least valid. My original purpose of using this like a journal is more difficult now. Text can be so much more difficult to interpret than spoken word, and more than one disagreement has already been started over words posted here. I also feel like I can’t adequately express everything I need to here. Issues are more complex than I can convey properly.
I feel like I’m still caught up in a whirlwind. I’m afraid that while I have learned to be happy on my own, I’m no good at helping other people to be happy. I’m afraid that since my needs are simple and refined after my failed marriage, I am no longer able to understand the more complex needs of someone with a different background. I’m afraid that I am so comfortable on my own, and in my own head, that I can no longer really understand those who thrive off being around other people. I’m afraid that my silence at times gets taken for sadness or for anger when that’s really not the case.
I guess maybe I feel like maybe I’m just not good enough right now. And I don’t know what else I can do because I feel like I’m doing everything I can.
The weekend was pretty good by all accounts I think.
Friday night my mom stopped by and took two of the chairs from my old dining room table to take to
All in all not a bad weekend.
Alright, quick weekend update.
Friday Jen was out of town at a wedding, so I went to a Pimp and Ho costume party with some of my friends. It was a combination Halloween and birthday party. As the last gift in the pile to open, my friend Randy hid an engagement ring inside another present for Mandy. So that went over well, he proposed, and everything was just peachy. It was a bright spot in an otherwise mundane though not unenjoyable evening. It did really drive home the fact that these really aren’t my people anymore. I had nothing to talk about with anyone, and I found that the people there were talking about the same things they were 4 months ago. I felt like telling most of the people there to get a life. (I mean really, who comes to a party to bitch about work?)
Saturday was lots of waiting for Jen to get home honestly. I did some things around the house. Then when Jen finally did get home around dinner time, we had a nice night together.
Sunday Jen went to her girls lunch, while I watched the Bengals game and did a few other little things. We watched a movie that night. Well, I should say I watched a movie. I thought guys were the ones that were supposed to fall asleep during movies? Jen and I haven’t successfully watched a movie where she didn’t fall asleep I think.
Yesterday sucked. It really felt like I couldn’t do anything right. Work was horrible, ran into more than one problem that I simply could not figure out. I didn’t get to eat lunch until 4PM, and since I didn’t eat breakfast, that was brutal. Then went to Kung Fu last night, and because of the late eating, I had zero energy. Halfway through the last class I just simply couldn’t do it. I forced myself to go through the motions, but I just couldn’t put any more into it. I won’t go into what happened when I got home, but lets say that the theme of not being able to do anything right held true there too. It was a frustrating day all around.
Today I am just down. I had an early meeting. I got no sleep the night before. I’m starting to feel like I’m running in circles again, and I don’t quite know what to do about it.
Well, it’s Friday again! This is the just the third Friday since the end of June that Jen and I aren’t planning a trip to or from
Jen got here Wednesday night, and we had a nice night together. Then last night Karen came all the way out to the eastside to have dinner with us. I fixed up some potato soup, and it turned out pretty good. I think I know what I can do to speed the process just a tad, as it did take nearly 3.5 hours to make. But I was overly cautious about not burning the milk, so I think I can use some more heat next time and get done a little faster. I was pretty happy overall, and it was great company and a nice night in to welcome Jen to
Jen and I are slowly getting things together. Finances are going to suck the first month, since her house isn’t sold yet. Paying for two mortgages on two houses is not an easy thing! But, we’ll figure it out, I’m sure. Figuring out all of the various house things will take some time, but I don’t think it will be bad overall. Again, it’ll just take some time.
It’s funny how easy it is to fall back into the pattern of living with someone. I already know which towels are hers, and I don’t use those. I already sleep on “my” side of the bed, even when she’s not there. All those little things came back right away, even after 3 years of living very, very much alone. And it doesn’t sound like much, but it makes all the difference in the world.
It seems like time is crunched together. This week has positively flown by so far.
Obviously the big news is that Jen will be in town in a few hours. Which means that our new life together technically starts tonight. Very exciting!
I finished Cell unexpectedly the other night. Ending was totally not what I was expecting. Not bad, just different. Very quick read overall, enjoyable, but nothing to write home about methinks.
Being around generally smart people all of the time, I forget sometimes that what I do makes no sense to anyone else. Case in point……. I had a weird confrontation with an older, shall we say countrified, gentleman today. I was eating lunch, minding my own business and checking email on the phone when this guy just sits down across from me in my booth. He asked me if I was playing some video game or something. I said no, tried to get back to eating and working. He asked if it was one of those “pod-things”. I laughed, said no, explained that it was a tool for work, and that I was doing email. He looked at me with this totally blank stare. I said, you know, email, like letters, but on the computer. No response…. But he wouldn’t leave! So I explained that I was talking with my customers over the internet….. to which he said “So you’re looking at porn, because that’s all the internet is good for, right?” It took every once of restraint I had not to bust out laughing. I politely explained that no, there are many other ways people use the internet, etc. etc. etc. I finally got him to leave, and the waitress came up and apologized to me. She said that he is in the restaurant every couple days, and he always picks someone to pester, and that he was harmless, etc……
Talk about odd!!!
So we now have enough plates and cups and what not to feed approximately 35 people……….without having to do dishes. And that’s enough pots and pans to fix it all. Obviously this is going to have to be one of the first rooms we sort and figure out. I have copious amounts of cabinet space, but not even my kitchen can contain this cornucopia of cookware!
I have made excellent progress on my new book, Cell by Stephen King. Nifty little technology goes bad story so far.
I feel like I haven’t had much time to read, but I look at it now and realize that since July, I’ve finished 9 books. And this is getting like 30 minutes a day to read, so that’s not too bad. But I haven’t made a choice on what to read next yet. I have a few in mind, but haven’t decided.
Well, we got everything moved. After an exhausting weekend, 99% of Jen’s things are now at my place. We organized most big things yesterday, at least for now. We need to go through everything and get rid of what we don’t need, but that can be done over time. At least most of it is done, and by Wednesday night, Jen will be a permanent resident of our house.
Well, the weekend was pretty good overall. Jen and I went out for a casual dinner on Friday night in
So, there this that’s really bothering me and I haven’t been able to figure out how to put into words.
On Thursday, I found a notebook in my closet while cleaning things out and getting ready for Jen to move down. This notebook was in my ex-wife’s handwriting. So, I of course had to open it and read it. That was incredibly dumb of me. The notebook contained approximately 18 months or so of all the things that she bottled up towards the end of the marriage. These are all of things that came out with such a vengeance at very end. Most of these were things that I had no idea were going on. Some of them I knew about, but those were definitely in the minority.
To see these laid out in order, and to see that all of these were there but never talked about is somewhat frustrating. I’m sure that some of the non-communication was my fault somehow, but I’m certain, especially after seeing this, that not all of it was. Not even most of it I think. Taken individually, each of these things could have been solved at the time they happened, had they been brought up and dealt with. Bottled up for at least 18 months (for these written things anyway), there was no way in hell we had any chance whatsoever.
Seeing these in this way makes me angry. Considering what was written, the last few months were nothing more than a ploy for her to get more time. She had her mind made up at least 6 months before papers were filed. I feel like I was led to believe there may have been a chance, and that I jumped through hoops for waaaaaaayyyy too long to try to fix something that wasn’t fixable. Yes yes, I get that some of this was my own fault. That I wanted to see that chance. However, after reading the notebook, I think some of it was premeditated as a form of revenge.
Anyways, I burned the notebook, along with a few other things I found from her at that time. This was strangely satisfying.
However, since Thursday, I have had dreams every night with my ex-wife in them. Some of them have been nightmares, some of them have been pleasant. But every night, she has been there. In some we are friends again, in others we are forced together at some type of event for a mutual friend. In most, I’m still with Jen. (In one or two they have even fought, which is strangely funny and exciting at the same time……)
So I don’t know what it means, other than I haven’t been getting much good sleep since Thursday……. I’ll let you know if they continue……………..
Ya, I got nothin, sorry.
The past week has been hectic yet not.
I didn’t go to Fu all week due to doctor’s request that I take some time off to let my knee get a little better. (I did, went back tonight, feel pretty good really). So no surgery, just do whatever my pain level will tolerate. Watch the knee on that side for hyperextending, which is what is causing the pain. If the pain doesn’t decrease in 3to6 months, then go back for exploratory surgery.
So I did some stuff around the house, got caught up with a few friends.
Friday I went to Brian’s ex Erin’s wedding. That was alright. Nothing too special, non-traditional in some ways.
Saturday was Greg’s reception. That was fun, and it was nice to see Lingling having some fun around English speaking people again.
Sunday I went to a Fu party for our teacher Joe, who was crowned Grand Champion at the tournament in Sept. That was lots of fun. We ate, we hung out, we talked Fu, we watched some of the video footage. It was lots of fun overall.
I haven’t felt like I have much to post. I’ve been on a pretty even keel recently, so no big drama to report or bitch about.
I’m anxious to get Jen moved down here and stop this distance relationship. After a few months, it really wears on you. I don’t show it near as much as Jen does sometimes, but I feel it just as keenly. I’m like anyone else, and I have my worries and concerns about working everything out once she gets here, but I can’t say that I’m not looking forward to it regardless.
I have a thousand times more confidence about this relationship and this choice than I ever did about my last marriage. But, I was young and stupid, and I thought there weren’t any problems that couldn’t be fixed somehow. I know now that 1)not all problems HAVE to be fixed, 2) not all problems CAN be fixed, 3) sometimes the problems aren’t the important things that have to be worked out.
Overall, I’m perfectly content with my life at this moment, and the future only looks better. What more is there to say?
Yes, yes, I’ve been chided for not posting. I guess I haven’t had much to say here. That and I haven’t had any time to say it.
So, here’s the recap of the past week:
Last Friday I went to dinner with Brian, Al, my cousin Andrew, and Rachel. It was somewhat of a belated birthday gathering, but mostly just a reason to drink. A lot. A lot a lot! We had a good time, got to bed super late. Rachel and Andrew crashed at my place, Brian and Al went home. Slept reasonably late for a 3:30AM bedtime, like 9:30AM.
The next day, I did a whole lot of cleaning and what not, and then the Kung Fu folks descended on my house to meet up before seeing a movie. It was me, Brian, Rachel, Jonesy, Nieport, Farber, Jacob, Mike, Keith, two of their friends, Jason and Tiffany, and Ben. We went to see Fearless, with Jet Li. It was fantastic, made better by the fact that Jet Li practices our style of martial arts. Seeing him do some of the things we are learning is pretty darn cool. People came back to my place afterwards, and we hung out until like 4 or so.
Sunday was a lazy day for the most part. I watched the Bengals game with my brother, then went to my grandparents’ place to fix their PC. Had dinner there, then came home and did some work.
This week has sucked. I’ve had 6AM calls every day but this morning. I’ve had tons of other work too, so no early off times. Lots of stress on the homefront too, so that has sucked.
But, Jen got into town last night, and everything seems to be ok now.
So that’s the week in a nutshell. More later!
Alright, so I’m still tired. Sorry for no posts, but I’ve been a workin fool the past few days.
Tuesday I was in early (7:30A), and then I had a big project start at 2PM. I worked that project until 5 AM the next morning, went to a 6AM appointment, then went back to the project until around 1PM. I did a few other things, then went to the dojo last night to work out. That was tough on no sleep, let me tell you! I didn’t get to sleep until about 11:30P last night, and then I was up at 7AM again.
I feel a little worn out today, but it’s not completely horrible. I don’t require much sleep anyway. I am definitely more tired than I normally am, but not overly so. My muscles are more tired than normal from working out, and I feel a little sleepy, but that’s ok.
For the record, I had to do a residential call this morning to an absolutely disgusting house. I have rarely been in a house that smelled worse. The lady is a AKC breeder or poodles, and you’d think she does all of this IN the house from the way it smells. That or she lets them use the basement as a restroom. The house was clean overall, but the stench was nearly enough to make me faint. I HATE RESIDENTIAL CALLS. The money simply isn’t worth dealing with most people.
Well, yesterday was one full birthday……….
I woke up tired from the full day on Saturday. Jen and I had a pleasant morning together being with one another. Then, Greg came over and we went to the Bengals game, which was a very nice present from Greg, while Jen went to her girls lunch. We parked in NKY and walked across the suspension bridge to get to the game, which was right up my alley. The game was wonderful, if a bit hot. I got quite a bit of sun. Once we got back from the game, Jen and I had dinner with my parents and grandparents. Jen left from the restaurant to head back to
Oh, as a surprise, Jen hid 7 different little letters throughout my house for me to find for my birthday. Each said something different that she loved about me or about us. It was a very thoughtful surprise, and one that I enjoyed thoroughly. Thanks Jen.
Lastly, everyone wants to make a big deal about 30. I don’t get it. I feel stronger and more capable now than I ever have in my life. I can do more now in any area of my life than I have ever been able to do in the past. What exactly is wrong with that, and why am I supposed to feel old?
So today was the big Fall Gathering for the Shaolin-Do Association. Big tournament in Lexington. People from all over the country were there to compete. There were kata competitions and a sparring competitions.
Although I wasn’t confident in what I was doing, I decided to participate to see what I could do.
Jen was nice enough to get up ultra-early with me (6AM) this morning and go down to watch.
It was a really long day. The little kids went first, which was very cute. Our school doesn’t teach children, but many others do, so there were a ton there.
Things finally got started, and myself and Brian and Jacob were all competing in the blue belt level competitions.
We each did an open hands form, a weapons form, and then we had a little round robin sparring tournament.
Sparring was tough, but fun. Although head contact is illegal, I got clocked twice, once in the mouth in my first match, and then once in the nose in my last match.
It was great to watch everyone do their stuff. Our school did extraordinarily well. Almost everyone that went got a medal. Including me! I got two, one for weapons form (Bo Staff), and one for sparring. Both 2nd places, so silvers for each.
It’s a wonderful feeling to get back out and compete in something again. I’ve needed this badly.
I couldn’t be more thankful for today really, and mostly because Jen came to watch when she understood it was important to me. 6AM to 10:30PM is a really long day when you are doing something that you really aren’t taking part in, so I’m very appreciative of the sacrifice.
Ya, so, check this out…………..
MRI came back on my knee. I have a torn meniscus. I found a nice article about what this means here: http://orthopedics.about.com/cs/meniscusinjuries1/a/meniscus.htm
It means another surgery.
I’m really trying not to be depressed about this.
I believe it’s a challenge to live one’s life as part of the experience rather than passively experiencing life.
I believe age is the sum of your experiences, and it has nothing to do with numbers.
I think most people experience merely 30% of what really happens during their day. The other 70% is discarded as distracting, off topic, background, etc……………
I believe some people don’t need to tune the other 70% out………
I believe this difference in experience gave rise to the term “old soul”. Although usually attributed to those who have experienced much tragedy or hardship in their lives, it is not always so. Some people just seem to have experience more overall than most others do.
I believe it’s possible to make one’s soul younger. Through surrounding oneself with positive people, doing creative and beneficial things with one’s time, and through sheer force of will, one can retain the life lessons learned yet still view the world with a sense of wonder and newness. And continue to learn new lessons in everyday activities.
Is this not the true fountain of youth?
So, I went to
Jen surprised me on Saturday for my birthday. She took us to a place called Heavenly Massage, and we got a couples massage. 60 minute massage together in the same room, then the special thing about this place is after the massage. You get your own little bathroom to go to. This bathroom has a HUGE shower stall with a steam attachment installed. So, you get the massage, then you can relax in a steam bath as long as you want, then take a shower to get refreshed. It was great, and they let us share the same shower, which was even better. Having never shelled out the money for a professional massage before, it was fantastic. I’d sign up for some monthly thing here in Cinci if I could find a massage parlor that has the steam bath/shower thing at the end. (I’d almost pay the massage rates just for that if you want the truth….)
Saturday made Sunday standing in the rain watching her soccer game ALMOST worth it (j/k, I was with Jen, it was worth it.)
We had a pretty significant fight on Sunday after her game. This is becoming distressingly common. I’ll chalk some of it up to the fact that we have to part ways every weekend, and it wears on both of us. Neither of us wants to be apart from the other, but we have no choice in the matter currently. I’m sure that’s most of it.
Regardless, we always seem to make up in the end, and neither of us lets things linger after we are done arguing, so that part’s good.
Ya, so I switched to the Beta Blogger, and I also can’t comment on anyone’s blogs anymore. It should be a temporary thing until they can get the authentication systems synced up, but we’ll see. (Google owns Blogger if you didn’t know that, and this beta thing is all about using your gmail or google ID for blogger.)
Anyways, the week has been good thus far. I have a doctor appointment today to see if I can figure out why my left knee and my right side are hurting. It shouldn’t be anything serious, but I’ll let you know.
Common sense?
Everyone here in Cinci is aware of the Marcus Fiesel situation. If you aren’t from here, here’s a link to a recap:
http://news.enquirer.com/apps/pbcs.dll/section?Category=newsmarcus
Now, the birth mother, the one that couldn’t support him and had him taken away is filing a wrongful death lawsuit to the tune of $5 million dollars.
This is the lady that couldn’t get things straight enough that child services took ALL of her kids away from her. Not just Marcus, but her other two children as well. (OH, BTW, all 3 were from different men) The house stank so bad that child services assumed she had dogs or some type of animals in the house. (She didn’t) Marcus was covered in flea bites and bruises. He got out of the house on two different occasions before he was taken away.
This lady could NOT care for this child. She did not have a job, relying on social services for money.
Why in the world is this lady entitled to a DAMN THING over what happened? In my opinion, and I may sound a bit heartless here, she is EVERY BIT as responsible for what happened to Marcus as the foster parents that killed him. How damn difficult is it to keep a house clean? How difficult is it to keep tabs on a 3 year old that has a mentality like an 18 month old because he’s autistic?
What lawyer with ANY decency would take this case? What judge would even pretend to hear it?
What sane person out there sees this as ANYTHING but a flat out money scam? I’m not downplaying her loss in the slightest, it certainly was her child that died. But if she wants the money now, she should have wanted Marcus just as much when she had him. Her actions don’t back that up in the slightest.
And people in this country wonder why foreigners think we are stupid. If she wins a single penny out of this, they are all right. It would be a mockery of our judicial system, and everyone involved should be ashamed. These are the things that make me ashamed to be part of this country, this system.
I’m not Anti-American, but I am Anti-Stupidity. I wish more of us existed.
The entire weekend thus far has been incredibly restful. I won’t claim to have been totally inactive, but it’s been close. We saw “Crank” last night with Brian. It was an entertaining action flick, nothing entirely special. Some neat visual effects, I’d say worth the money to go see.
I’ve gotten quite a bit of my book read this weekend, without even trying a whole lot. I’ve had lots of little bits of time to read a chapter here, chapter there, and I find I’m halfway through. 2 more after this one, and I’ll have all 6 in the Dune prequel series done. They’ve been really good books, very enjoyable.
I am slowly organizing myself into training mode again. I’ve got to get studying for some certifications again. This is a daunting task, and I’m not sure how I want to accomplish this. However, I’ve been given the end of Sept as a target date for taking the test.
I refuse to stress out about this.
Everything is interconnected. Even if it doesn’t appear to be on the surface. This is something Chicago drove home this past weekend.
1) Letting an older gentleman cut in line in front of me at Dunkin Donuts on Sunday earned me not thanks, but a look like I had three heads. He was immediately suspicious of me.
2) Drivers in Chicago do at least 10 mph over the speed limit at all times no matter what street you are on. Going slower gets you yelled at, honked at, and generally beat up for being a pansy.
3) From at least 40 miles outside the city in ANY direction (think Cinci to Dayton folks), there is nothing but solid city. There are no spaces between towns, no extended stretches of two lanes roads without stop lights, etc. This would be a perfect example of urban sprawl. The only place I’ve been to and personally seen it worse was LA. There it was, no joke, 70 miles outside the city.
Cramming people together like this by default discourages personal interaction. Counter-intuitive? Not really. How can you pay attention to one person when there are 15 right behind her? How can you look out for other people when there are 25 people within 25 feet? How can you develop personal relationships when just getting across town takes 2 hours? Someone may be in your part of town today, and you may never see them again the entire time you live in such a place.
There are benefits to living in a smaller town. I constantly run into people all over the area that knew my father, knew my mother, knew me when I was little, knew someone else in my extended family (95% of which live in Cinci), etc. That type of familiarity cannot exist in a place as big as Chicago.
I can drive to Chicago and enjoy all those things that big city folk like to do. However, those Chicago people can NEVER experience the kind of life that I have here. It’s simply not possible for them, and that makes me sad in a way.
There, I would be just another number amongst millions, struggling to make myself heard over the crowd.
Here, I can be myself, and I can be connected to the fabric of society of the entire region, and I CAN make a difference.
I think I prefer it that way………………….
So, here are my thoughts from the weekend.
Activity recap: Jen and I stayed in Friday night. She was kind enough to take me to Panera in the morning so I could get internet access for my fantasy football draft. So, we had breakfast, she read and I did what I needed to do. Pretty relaxing morning. We went into town during the afternoon, walked around a whole bunch. Didn’t ultimately find what we wanted, but that’s ok. We went to a cool Chinese place called the Smiling Buddha for dinner. Sunday we went to a
Here’s what I contemplated on the way home.
I know that Jen and I are supposed to be together. I know this in many different ways, two of which I realized this weekend in particular. In no real order:
1) I play a completely different role in this relationship than I ever have in any previous relationships. It’s much more of an equal footing than I’ve ever experienced.
2) Even the worst day we’ve had so far between us was still a good experience overall. We argued, then sat down and talked about it calmly and cleared everything right up about 15 minutes later. Things were strained for an hour or two, but we stayed with each other, and by the time we got home, everything was just fine. And all of our arguments have been this way.
It’s absolutely amazing what one person can notice if you try. I was struck by this riding the El, walking around the “residential” areas of
Acts of senseless negativity, downright hostility, wicked ignorance as people pass by events.
Acts of kindness, unique perspectives, completely different world views.
And these things change block to block, neighborhood by neighborhood. The buildings are the same, but some blocks have newer, brighter paint jobs. Some have burned out signs. Some have signs over remnants of older signs. And invariably on every block it seemed like one business was closing or closed and another was opening. Some blocks the empty spaces outweighed the full, and some blocks that was opposite. The closer you got to the city proper the fewer open spaces there were.
I must have heard 20 different languages. And yet from a distance, you couldn’t tell what they were speaking, but you could understand basically what the conversation was, from restocking shelves, unloading trucks, people have lunch conversations, etc. I really didn’t feel like language was much of a barrier all day when looked at from the proper perspective.
I won’t claim some deep understanding of life after one day walking around one of heavier population centers of our country. I won’t claim to have it all figured out now.
However, I will say that it was an experience that was very enlightening in many ways. Although I did not get to get into it as much as I would have liked, I felt like I was operating on a higher level again. There was so much to absorb, and I was really trying to get the most out of it.
I’ll post some more thoughts in the next few days. There is really a jumble floating around in my head, and I haven’t sorted it all out yet.
Alright, so Monday night at the dojo, I got some disappointing news.
They most likely are not going to allow me to test in September for my next belt. Although I still have one kata to learn before then, I somewhat question this. I don’t think the head instructor knows quite how much I’m at the dojo. He was surprised to hear what I know at this point, but he still said that they prefer not to allow blue to green testing in 3 months.
I’m taking this two ways.
First, I am a little pissed because I don’t feel like I’m getting enough new material taught. Monday is supposed to be new material night, and I haven’t learned anything on Monday nights in almost a month. I feel like I’m begging for new material from anyone that will teach it. Short version here: I don’t think my not being ready in September would have anything to do with my skills, but everything to do with the teaching. Which is somewhat disappointing since I’ve made such a big commitment to learning the material. I am at the dojo more than just about anyone else other than Rachel and Jones. At least for my level folks, can’t speak to the higher belts. I don’t know what else I could possibly do on my side.
Second, I see this as a test in patience. If they won’t let me test, I’ll perfect what I’ve got, work on my stances more, and work on the several long katas I know. This may be better for me in the long run. My conditioning will improve, as it already has greatly. My overall competence will improve. So these are all good things.
I run the risk of getting bored however, and I really, really don’t like that. That’s the one thing on this planet that I cannot stand. I’m pretty good at keeping myself interested, but I HATE to be held back. I learn much different than most folks, and much quicker. Being held back for whatever reason is 100% not acceptable.
So, I’m going to have some work to do here, and I’m not sure what’s up yet. I don’t want to back down my commitment, but if I get bored, it’s going to be really, really difficult to keep doing it this way. I guess I kind of see like I made a commitment to the dojo, and I want one back from them. And I’m not getting it, and that’s not going to work for very long.
Hmmm, we’ll see what the future brings.
