Friday Thought

Alright, getting ready to leave for Chicago, and I’ll leave you with this thoughts for now……

 

 

Watched a fascinating show about the Mayans and their calendar last night. Their calendar ends on Dec 21^st, 2012, which of course is the date that they believe not only the world, but the universe, will end. It just so happens that on that date our Sun has a very rare alignment with the center of the Milky Way, and our Earth completes a cycle of it’s orbit wobble, which happens only every 26,000 years as well. These two events are extraordinarily rare, and it’s odd that the Mayans were able to predict this during Europe’s dark ages. I’ve read other things regarding their predictions as well, very cool stuff. They perceived time a lot like modern quantum physicists, in that travel is possible not only forward, but backward. Pretty neat for a “backward” people…….makes you wonder just how much knowledge we’ve lost………………

 

 

 

 

 

Thoughts

So, a few thoughts for today.

 

Last night was ex-girlfriend night for dreaming. For once I remember a dream that wasn’t a nightmare! I saw almost all of my ex-girlfriends from the past, most notably absent was my ex-wife. The dream was mostly non-sexual, but it was very pleasant nonetheless. I woke up halfway refreshed for a change.

 

I’ve been reflecting a lot recently that all of my good friends are female. My closest male friend doesn’t get even half out of me what my female friends do. I’m not a typical guy in that respect, as I don’t enjoy what most would consider typical guy talk. I prefer more serious discussions for the most part, and I find that most guys simply don’t like to have those conversations. Or if they do, they aren’t willing to discuss a subject, they merely want to project their own opinion as forcefully as possible, making sure that you KNOW they are right and you are wrong. Call it being more civilized, more fair, whatever, but I find I enjoy talking to women a whole heck of a lot more than I do talking to men.

 

I am trying not to fall into a rut at work, and I’m finding that I’m not very successful at doing it. I’m consistently bored with what I am doing, and I find I just want to get the day done so I can start the interesting part of my life. I don’t know what to do about that.

 

 

I am finding myself thinking a lot about the Robert Heinlein book “Friday” recently. Very interesting social commentary on relationships, both sexual and non-sexual, and what makes people happy, along with a darn good conspiracy story in the process. I like the book a lot, and it keeps popping up in my head.

 

I want to see “A Scanner Darkly” soon. It’s playing at the Esquire here in Cinci, very limited release elsewhere. It’s based on one of my favorite stories by Philip K. Dick, a story by the same name. I’m interested to find out what they had to change. The story is about addiction and split personalities, and somewhat chronicles some of the struggles that the author went through in his own life. The movie has Keanu Reeves, Robert Downey Jr., Winona Ryder, and Woody Harrelson in it. Looks fascinating.

 

 

 

 

That’s all for now. I may write more later depending on how the day goes.

 

 

 

Net Neutrality

I don’t have much to say today, not that’s constructive in any way,  so I’ll give you these links on Net Neutrality today. Read, be informed, exercise your freedoms!

 

http://www.google.com/help/netneutrality.html

 

http://news.com.com/Net+neutrality+showdown/2009-1028_3-6055133.html

 

http://www.savetheinternet.com/

 

http://www.computerworld.com/action/article.do?command=viewArticleBasic&taxonomyName=government&articleId=9001877&taxonomyId=13

 

http://www.itsournet.org/

 

http://www.internetofthefuture.org/

 

 

Confirmed

So yes, I Chin Ching was absolutely brutal, and I can’t wait to go back. I’m definitely sick in the head.

 

I hurt really bad today in unexpected places. Right down my sternum, underneath my arms, my hips, my neck. I know now why the blackbelts say I Chin Ching is the hardest class to do. Good flexibility and strength training though!

 

 

 

Sickness

So after conditioning today, I’ve decided that I must have something wrong with me. ……..

 

 

Saturday means start at 1 for the lower belt class, my class at 2 PM, higher level class at 3 which I stay through, and then conditioning.  So before conditioning starts, I’ve done 100 squats, 100 pushups, 240 crunches, plus some serious stretching, stances, and kicking drills. Then during conditioning is another 200 squats, 160 to 200 pushups, 200 supermans (think reverse crunches), and the equivalent of 200 more crunches. And that’s after 5 solid minutes of jumping jacks. And then we do another 40 minutes of aerobic stuff. It’s absolutely brutal.

 

I’m finding I’m actually able to do this, and it’s getting easier to do it.  I think I’m starting to like it, and that’s why I think I’m sick. I have to have something wrong with me to like this torture.

 

I’ll tell you for sure after tomorrow. I’m attending I Chin Ching  tomorrow, and everyone says that’s the one that’s absolutely brutal. And then Tai Chi after that.  

Thoughts

Sorry for the lack of updates recently. I haven’t felt like I’ve had a lot to say, even though there has been a lot going on.

 

A few thoughts today:

 

A good friend really made me look hard at what I do for a living, and asked me if I was really happy doing it. I say that I’m happy, and I think for the most part that I am, but Rachel really made me ponder that. She and I have been discussing a lot of psychology (her major and graduate work, and one of my majors in college) recently, and she thinks I’d be a really good therapist. And she also thinks I might be unhappy at work, although I don’t talk about it much.

 

I was struck at how perceptive her comments were. I’m glad to think I have another friend in a very, very small group that know me well enough to see through my walls I put up. I find it flattering that all 3 people I put that group are women J.

 

I have finally come to truly realize in the past few months that I don’t consider myself young anymore. My tastes are different, my desires are different, my thoughts are different.  There are negative aspects of this and there are positive aspects of this. I’m not sure how to describe the difference between them, only that they are there.

 

 

I have been experiencing some small odd happenstances recently. I have had a handful of set of events where I feel like I’m operating at a higher level of (blank, no idea how to put this) than everyone else around me.  More in tune with my environment? More connected to something that lies underneath all of us? Like I’m taking in more from the same scenes? All of the above? (Yes, I think the answer is yes)

 

 

Ok, so that last part sounds weird, but it’s honestly true. It’s fascinating……………

Weekend Update

What a fantastic weekend!

 

Jen came in Friday night, and we fixed dinner and enjoyed one another’s company. We visited my brother for about an hour or so, and they had RaMandy there as well, so that was fun. Then back home to hang out before bedtime.

 

Saturday was hectic, but in good ways. I got up early (7AM), waiting on the TWC guy to get there to fix my internet. My poor Toshiba cable modem finally died after 7 years of good service, so they replaced that, tightened some wires and all was good. While I was waiting, I got some cleaning done and what not. Jen got up, joined me downstairs, and we relaxed, had a leisurely breakfast, then went to the store to get a few things for the party. I went to the dojo for a few hours, and learned the rest of my sparring techniques for this belt. I came home, and we scrambled to get everything clean before people showed up. And my, what a party it was! We had a little over 20 people at one point. It was an awesome mixture of my old friends and my new friends. There was lots of alcohol consumed, to the tune of around 4 or 5 cases total, plus a bottle or two of wine, and some shots thrown in for good measure. (Hehehehe, Ben, Erin, and Jen all learned about BaiJo). Everyone left by about 2AM, except for Ben who crashed at my place. I finally got to bed around 3AM.

 

I got up at 8AM on Sunday to make sure that Ben made it into work. Jen and I relaxed in bed for a while after that, finally got up and just relaxed on the couch until we had to get ready to go to my niece’s baptism at 1:15. We went to that, so Jen got to meet my grandparents, one of my cousins, and one of my aunts. That was brief, then we went back to my place, and we really didn’t do much of anything until Jen had to leave. At that point, I went to the dojo to take Tai Chi. Brian came back to my place and hung out afterwards, helping me consume a little of the extra food I had left from Saturday night.

 

It was a fantastic weekend overall, though I’m a bit tired today. Should make the dojo extra fun tonight, but that’s ok!

Wednesday

I realize it's Thursday morning, but I posted this last night and it didn't work, so I'm posting it now.

I don’t have much to say today, not that’s constructive in any way, so I’ll give you these links on Net Neutrality today. Read, be informed, exercise your freedoms!

http://www.google.com/help/netneutrality.html

http://news.com.com/Net+neutrality+showdown/2009-1028_3-6055133.html

http://www.savetheinternet.com/

http://www.computerworld.com/action/article.do?command=viewArticleBasic&taxonomyName=government&articleId=9001877&taxonomyId=13

http://www.itsournet.org/

http://www.internetofthefuture.org/

Tuesday

Last night was 2 hours of dojo time, which was brutal in this heat. But good nonetheless. Then a couple of hours of discussing philosophy, reality, psychology, and quantum mechanics/physics with Rachel. Excellent conversation, very insightful, very thought provoking.

 

I won’t go into details yet, as I am still working on how to say everything I want to say on that.

 

 

So, here’s my list for today:

 

1)       The Israeli/Lebanese conflict going on makes me very nervous. It’s very easy to see it escalating into something none of us wants. Unfortunately, there is nothing we can do about it, and if we go in as a country, we will only make things worse. In this ONE instance, we just need to stay the hell out of it. I’m a supporter of pretty much everything else we’ve done in the Middle East, but we simply don’t have the capabilities, or more importantly the political clout in the area, to do anything worthwhile.

2)       The tsunami in Indonesia is also scary. None for a very long time, then 2 of them in the same area within a short period of time? Can we say major tectonic plate movement? Can we say expect more? Those poor people are in for it I think.

3)       The net neutrality legislation making its way through our legal process has much bigger ramifications than anyone can possibly realize. As free citizens of our country, the politicos should not have the power to restrict our freedoms in the way that they intend to do. Anyone with a brain needs to write their congressman and put a stop to it. The beauty of the internet and email is that you can write it once, and then send it to EVERY member of the House, and EVERY member of the Senate if you wish. That’s partly what I did yesterday, and yes, everyone I could find an email address for got a letter, including the VP and President. And some of his cabinet members as well. Oh, and our state legislators as well ;). Carefully sent out in 20 member segments to avoid spam detection and ISP backlash. Stand up, speak out, take part in our democracy, or shut the hell up when things happen you don’t like.

 

 

Oh, everyone needs to bug Karen to update her blog when she’s on vacation. I told her she wasn’t allowed to go if it meant she couldn’t update her blog for two weeks. I need some support here people!

Monday

After a wonderful weekend in Chicago with Jen, I thought I’d take some time to post some stuff.

 

First, a brief recap of the weekend: Got into Chicago Friday night, we went to dinner at an awesome pizza place. Then we went home to sleep. Saturday, it was hot. Too hot to do anything. And her air conditioner wasn’t working right, so her house was hot. We went to breakfast at Richard Walker’s, which has to be one of the best breakfasts I’ve ever had. We went back to her place, and we worked on the air conditioner again. Basically had it figured out, but couldn’t quite get it. So, instead of trying to get into the city and deal with the heat, we went to a waterpark near her house. We had a blast. Got a little too much sun, but it was a lot of fun. We went to dinner at The Ram, which was a cool brewery, and then we met some of her friends at one of their houses. They were very nice, but we were tired and didn’t stay long. Sunday Jen played soccer in the morning and I worked out at her house. We had a simple lunch and spent the rest of the day together lounging around. I drove back Sunday night, got home around 11PM.

 

 

Now: my list, since everyone seems to be having the lists this week.

 

1)       I absolutely love DJ Krush. I put this in when I got close to Chicago, and it’s a perfect soundtrack for the area. He uses old Blue Note recordings as mix fodder, and the jazz beats and notes jive wonderfully with the area. The music is also busy and very urban, so it again goes well. The two combined make it perfect for the busy lifestyle that everyone there seems to have.

2)       I would die in Chicago. I have never encountered so many rude drivers. Everything feels compressed into as little space as possible, and that’s something I especially detest. It’s also very expensive, even for small things.

3)       I have been pondering reality quite a bit recently, and I notice this most when I’m talking to other people. Pretty much everyone I’ve talked to in the past 3 weeks, the subject of reality and its nature has come up. The odd thing is for the most part I haven’t brought it up. Twice I did, like with Karen today, but every other time someone else has brought it up. Very, very odd.

4)       My brain stores so much useless information. The oddest things get dredged up from time to time. Everyone finds it amusing, but I am honestly as amazed as they are sometimes. I have no idea where I pick this stuff up. Whenever I go to check it though, I always find out that I wasn’t making it up.

5)       Compounding on Dale’s musical thoughts, the soundtrack of my life right now is the following artists. I find they fit everything going on right now perfectly:   DJ Krush (complete works, like 10 cds), Muse (Absolution, Black Holes and Revelations), Orbital (too many albums to list), Action Figure Party (self titled), DJ Spooky (various cds), Mike Doughty (various cds), Massive Attack (Mezzanine, Protection, Blue Lines), The Chemical Brothers (Push the Button), and Gnarls Barkley (St. Elsewhere).

 

 

That’s it for now!

 

Called Out

So I got called out at a customer today.

 

I was asked why it seems like I’m not as enthusiastic about my job as what I normally seem to be. My customer was concerned, and she says she has been for several weeks now. We discussed it briefly, and I explained that it’s just stress, etc. etc. etc…………

 

 

Of course, thinking on it, that’s not the truth.

 

I am really frustrated at several people right now. Some of it is leftover stuff from losing a customer, some of it is the everyday crap that never seems to get better, even when it’s pointed out and admitted to. And admitted that it needs to be better. There is quite a bit of frustration that I can’t identify yet.

 

 

I’ve got some thinking to do it appears. I need to know what it is exactly that’s bothering me, and what I can do to fix it.

Update

Sorry for the delay, I’ve been a little busy.

 

 

Dojo on Monday, which was great. Rachel came up for dinner and hanging out afterwards, which was cool. I told her all about Jen, and she was happy, had lots of questions similar to questions that I guess Mary has been asking Jen. Questions like “How do you know she’s the right one?” “Don’t you think it’s a little fast?” etc….etc…..etc……

 

Easy to answer, but hard for people to comprehend: You just know. It’s that simple.

 

 

Last night was scary. The tornado that went through Clermont county really didn’t form too far away from my house. I locked the cats in the basement, then watched the storm form and head out. It was absolutely the scariest storm I’ve ever seen around here, and I’ve lived here all my life. I went outside right after it passed, and talk about a cool sky!!!! I could see blue sky and bits of sun on one side of the neighborhood, and really scary storm clouds on the other that seemed to touch the horizon.. I should have taken a picture, but I was too awestruck to get my camera before it was too dark to see anything. Being the storm nerd that I am, watching the weather on as many channels as possible took up the rest of the evening. Several of the ensuing storms formed in my general vicinity again, so I was happy to hear the thunder and watch the light show mother nature provided.

 

 

 

I bought ankle weights on Monday, and I’ve worn them to work each day this week. Holy crap my legs are sore, and they are tired! The dojo is going to be tough tonight!

 

 

 

Beginnings and Endings

So, what a roller coaster this week has been. It’s been cause for a lot of thinking on my part. Here’s some of what I’ve been pondering all week.

 

 

Jen and myself feel very natural together.  It’s really scary sometimes. This week was very much a great test to see how well we fit with one another. I think we know everything we need to know. Now it’s really going to be details to work out, of which there are a ton. Just how many there are is daunting. And most of them I think are going to be on Jen’s side. I feel bad for that, but there’s nothing for me in Chicago, while there is so much for her here.

 

We talked about it a lot this week, and I’m more sure of it now than I was at the beginning of the week. Jen and I will most likely spend the rest of our lives together. I’ve never met someone that meshes with my own personality in a better way. As Jen put it one night, she never needs rescued, but she’s ok with being saved once in a while.  That attitude works so well with my own personal outlook. I love to save people, but I hate to feel like I have to rescue them all the time. It’s wonderful to take care of someone who is totally capable and willing to do it on their own if you can’t be there for every little thing. And knowing that person is willing to do the same for you.

 

It was wonderful to meet a lot of new people this week. Besides the fact that they were all very nice, it was great to hang out with other couples and not feel like a fifth wheel for a change. I think it was the impetus  I needed to make some tough decisions regarding my old group of friends.

 

There are a few people that I believe I have decided that I am done with. Jen has started the final phase of my transformation after my divorce. I know now the path I’m on is the right one. I know now that I have ignored it for too long. I have let too many people get in the way of what I should be doing.

 

Ending my time at a customer this week was a big step. There is a whole group of people I’m sure I will never speak to again, and I really don’t find that bad in any way. My stress level has already decreased a ton just knowing I don’t have to deal with them anymore. There are a few people I will miss, but I very much see it this way: If I meant anything to them, they will contact me. You can call it a test or whatever, but I’m no longer wasting my time with people that don’t expend effort to include me in their lives. (That effort doesn’t have to be anything more than an email or phone call to say hi, but you’d be surprised how many don’t even do that.)

 

Looking back on things, I’ve wasted nearly 4 years of my life in front of a monitor, playing games. That’s 4 years real time mind you. Not only can I simply not do this anymore, I realize each day that my health will not allow it. I nearly destroyed myself that way, and I’m concerned with the long term effects at this point. No more cigarettes, which is the biggest part of it. Good exercise every day now, which has done wonders for my mental well being.

 

Some of my old group of friends wonder where I have been. But they play games every day, and they refuse invitations to get out of the house. They constantly have an excuse as to why they can’t do something, rather than a reason as to why they can. I’m done with excuses, and I’m done with people that make them. I feel like I’m spinning my wheels talking to a great many of them.

 

In some ways it’s sad…. It’s the end of the last 10 years of my life pretty much. They have shaped who I am today, so I don’t regret any of it.

 

 

I am starting a new life, and have been in that process pretty much all year long.

 

Kung Fu has had a huge impact on my life. Not just physically with the amount of weight that I’ve lost or the stamina I’ve been able to gain, but mentally as well. I can concentrate better at work. I find I understand things quicker. My mood is better overall. I don’t get frustrated as easily. I know now that I not only want my black belt, but I want to stay in the system for as long as my body will hold out. I want to be an instructor if possible.

 

For the first time in perhaps 6 or 7 years, I am optimistic about the future. I find myself considering things in ways I haven’t before, and seeing opportunities in places I only saw problems before. I started the changes in myself, and Jen has been everything I needed to confirm that I’m doing the right things, and everything I needed to point the way forward.

 

Thank you Jen for changing my life in ways I didn’t know it needed changed.

 

 

 

 

Thursday

Right, so this post isn’t about Jen. There are other things going on in my life too you know.

 

 

Today was my final day at a certain customer. I have worked for them in some capacity for around 4 years now.  They were told earlier in the week that today was my final day.

 

The whole thing was disappointingly anticlimactic. Not only was there no fuss made whatsoever, the important folk didn’t even say hello this morning. It was if I wasn’t even there.

 

I was expecting at the very least lots of questions regarding the network and what not. Or maybe some questions as to why I wasn’t coming back. Or maybe at least a goodbye.

 

But no, nothing.

 

Oddly enough, I’m somewhat down about that right now. Ok, not somewhat, a lot.

 

Again I make the mistake of confusing business with personal. I must remember that these people aren’t really friends.

 

 

It’s just sad to think of it that way. I’m good at what I do mostly because I take it personally.

 

 

If only everyone else did too……………

Ok ok, I'm posting, I'm posting!

Alright folks, sorry for the lack recently, Jen’s been commanding most of my time. And I mean that in every positive way possible.

 

 

So, here are my thoughts on how the weekend went, and everything up until now.

 

Friday Jen came in, came straight to my house from Southern Ill.. Friday was a long day, but I got off a little early. I stopped on the way home and picked up some fresh strawberries. I washed them up, and I just finished with the last one when she rang the doorbell. I opened the door, kissed her once for good measure, covered her eyes, and walked her into the living room. I grabbed a cool strawberry, told her to open her mouth, and fed her the strawberry, kissing half of it away from her.  The reaction was great, as I pretty much had to defend myself enough to get upstairs into the bed.

 

We cleaned up a bit, and went to meet her parents. That went well I think, although there wasn’t much time to socialize really. I got grilled pretty good by her old girl scout leader, and I think I made a decent impression. I was a little nervous, but that’s to be expected. Her mom laughed when Jen told her I had read one of the books that the two of them had read on Jen’s insistence. (Total romance novel…….like I told Jen, it’s girl porn……) When I told her that I finished it, she (Jen’s mom) smiled and told me I was brave. So I have that going for me. We went to dinner at that point, and we had a good conversation over dinner. We stopped by Allan’s place on the way home (more because everyone was in one place than because of any other reason). Jen got to meet Allan, Randy, Mandy, Brian, Brandon, Mike. Pretty much everyone in my old group. They had just started The Hills Have Eyes, so that pretty much dominated any chance for conversation. We stayed not long at all, then came home to spend a little more time with one another before Jen went back to her parents for the evening.

 

Saturday I worked in the yard all morning, trying to get my new flower bed finished. Almost, not quite, didn’t quite have enough energy. I went and picked up Jen at her parents’ place (I had to pass the important dog test at that point),  and we hung out for a bit before leaving for Karen’s. Alright, so we had sex for a bit before heading to Karen’s. I swear it wasn’t my fault we were late! I got to meet everyone, we played some games, we talked some. It was fun to be with a different crowd of people than my normal group to be honest, and it was nice to have some time with Karen outside of work, not mention talk with Jim for like the 2^nd time since they were married J.  Again, I hope I made a decent impression, and I at least felt like I did. I took Jen back to her parents around 2AM. I had difficulty sleeping, and I ended up watching TV until 4:30 for whatever reason.

 

Sunday I woke up later than I wanted to be honest. I got some laundry done, and then Jen showed up to pick me up for her family reunion. It was extraordinarily hot of course, and the reunion was outside. We made the best of it though, and I walked around and met her big extended family. I got asked a thousand questions by many different people. I answered them all the best I could, and I think I did alright. I overheard some of the discussions regarding me (ya, so it’s handy to have picked up how to listen to 3 or 4 background conversations at the same time, ya dig?), and everything seemed pretty positive. There were some negative things, but actually not about me. Jen and I discussed them, and it was no big deal. Overall the day was good, and Jen came back to my place afterwards. We unpacked her things, and got comfortable for the evening.

 

I will say it was great waking up on Monday morning with Jen in the bed. I didn’t get the best night’s sleep, mainly because Jen kept snuggling closer while she was sleeping. She nearly pushed me off the bed twice! Anyways, I went into work for a bit, then came home early. Jenny and I stayed in Monday night, and frankly we wore each other out pretty well. Both of us slept well Monday night.

 

Tuesday we slept in. We went over to my brother’s house for a bit for Jen to meet my sister. My parents were there helping Kris work on his bathroom. So we hung out a bit, then came home and got ready to go to Karen’s. It was nice to see everyone from Saturday. And to meet Sarah again and her husband Danny. Very nice people. I will say that I had a hard time relaxing because of a certain uncle that was there. I never really did quite get comfortable, because I was always looking over my shoulder to make sure he wasn’t near me. I kept as low as possible. Overall, still a good time, and we went home and stayed up a bit late.

 

Today was alright. Busy at work, though I got to come home early again. Jen and I went out to dinner with my parents, my sister, and my mom’s friend Barb. We went to The Cabana down on the west side. On the way home, we stopped downtown to go to the Hustler store, a new experience for Jen. (I didn’t even suggest it BTW, she did!) Hehehe, that was fun. She asked a lot of questions, and we giggled a lot.

 

 

The past few days have told me a lot about myself, and a lot about Jen. We’ve discussed some serious things, we’ve had a lot of fun, and we’ve just generally tried each other on for size. I don’t think there is anything else that I need to know. Everything that has happened in my life up to now was solely so that the two of us could meet now. I’m ready to have her in my life as much as she wants to be in my life.

Alright then

I was admonished today to post more, as people want to read what's happening.


Alright then, here we go.

Every night, I stay up late talking with Jen. I will say that the hour time difference is brutal, as I'm really on Chicago time for the most part now. Thankfully I don't need much sleep, and I can usually wake up on time.

What's happening between us Jen is worth a thousand sleepless nights. I feel like we've known each other forever. It seems that there is nothing that we don't connect on.

I've never had a relationship turn so serious so fast. But then again, I've never had a relationship be so right so fast.


I wake up with a smile on my face every morning, still hearing your voice in my ears and in my heart.

I'm sure that we will find this next week that we shouldn't be apart. I can't wait for you to get here.


Be warned, I may not let you leave!

Hello Stranger

Yes, I know, I haven't been posting regularly. I'm sorry.

Things are just........moving so fast right now.

I feel caught up in a whirlwind. I like it, a lot, but it's a little scary too.

I will say that I am looking forward to this next weekend and the holiday in ways I haven't felt in years. And it's an incredibly positive feeling.

And I'm very happy I can say that.

Passed!

So, even after a 8 week delay in getting started, I still managed to pass my test for blue belt today!

It was an absolute relief to finally get to what I've worked so hard for after the surgery. I truly had my doubts that I would be able to do it.

Not only that, but I had to do it by myself with no one else on the floor! Talk about nerve wracking! At least I had my mom there, and Karen (along with Sarah) was there too since she was watching Jim. So it was nice to have some folks there!

So ya, very pleased right now. Enough even to offset the fact that I have to go to work now!

Exercise in Frustration

That describes today pretty well.

Some stupid ass little thunderstorm rolls through Cincy at 6AM or thereabouts, and lo and behold my customer that's probably the MOST protected from such things goes down. Hard.

Battery backups fail, then the servers refuse to come back up. Worst-case scenario. 4 drive RAID 5 array, two disks go out.

So, the re-building begins. How bout no? Ya, it's the not the drives that are bad, it's the controller. Of course, that's not a stock part, so no one in town has one.

So I wait. For 4 hours.

During which I try to accomplish a different call.

End up being THERE for 5 hours.

So the first customer is somewhat pissed. Understandably.

I get back, go to restore. How bout no?

Ya, last night's is no good. Neither is the online backup.

Can I shoot myself yet?

Oh, no, wait, not yet.

Monday's backup thankfully IS good. So restore that, goes fine.

Oh wait, they forgot to tell me that their most important information they MOVED YESTERDAY. Guess what didn't get caught on the backup?

Errrrrghgghghgh!

To top it off, all my other calls that I couldn't get to today are now pissed, because no one called them like I asked someone to do SINCE I WAS DEALING WITH AN EMERGENCY.

I abso-fucking-lutely laid into my boss around 5:30PM.

And he apologized. That's the only good thing that happened today so far.


At least I get to talk to Jen tonight, that's what I've been looking forward to all day. That's what got me through today when I felt like destroying a few souls.

Intoxicating

Alright, so after discussing with several people, I think I'm still drunk on Jen after the weekend. Seems like everytime I turn around something about her is going through my head. And every time it does, I smile even more.

Holy cow my face is sore!

I want to know where my flying car is damnit! That way I could go visit you every night Jen.......

Stop all this frivolous research into global warming and fusion and whatever and just make me my flying car!
It'd probably be money better spent anyway, considering the amount of progress we've made on those things in the past 10 years.........

Refreshed

I slept in this morning until nearly 10:30. And I went to bed around 1:30 or 2 I think. That's easily the longest I've slept in 6 months, most likely longer than that frankly. I cannot remember waking up more comfortable and more refreshed.


And it's all Jen's fault!

And I couldn't be happier about that. What a wonderful weekend!

Giggle

So, sorry for the lack of updates. SOMEONE has been keeping me occupied at night :).


So totally forgot how much fun it can be to discover someone new. I've spent more time on the phone this week than I think I have since I was in high school, and it's been an absolute blast. Jen, you are wonderful! Our conversations are great, we cover a LOT of ground, and we have fun doing it. Thank you!


This weekend promises to be busy, and next weekend promises to be worse. Blech, right when I wish I had some spare time. I SHOULD be going to Chicago this weekend, but I just can't. Next weekend is going to suck. Work Saturday morning at 8:30, then belt test for kung-fu at 1. Ground Monkey seminar after that, then back to work until whenever. Working all day Sunday too. Big project. Lots of servers, lots of work.


Aaaahhhh, trying to not freak out about it all, so much to get done.

Quick

Ok, two quick things tonight:

First. I'll be damned if today didn't just suck all around. I'm afraid I've done something I shouldn't have, and my ankle really, really hurt today. In some bad ways it hasn't since right after the surgery. I'm going to ice it tonight and hope for the best. Take it easy tomorrow most likely. Or try to at least. How utterly frustrating to go to move and have it give out like it has twice today. At least it didn't at the dojo. Grrrr, I just want it to be 100% already. I must not be concentrating on willing it back to health fast enough.

Second. I hate finding sappy stories about pets. Especially when I'm having a bad day. I almost cried when I read this, click here. I very much dislike not having control like that.

Keira Josephine

Born at 4:50PM. 9lbs, 21 inches long. Mother and baby are healthy.


I will go see them tomorrow, and I will post pictures once I have them.



Everything appears to have gone fine, so Kris now has two little girls to drive him nuts :).

OMG

I fell out of my chair I laughed so hard when I saw this.........click here...........

Full!

What a full day!

Up at 7AM to get ready, headed for the dojo. Attended a seminar on using a chain whip down in Renfro Valley, KY. Absolutely wonderful. Weather was warm and sunny. No major injuries, and I learned something really cool. Dojo had a demo for the public at 6:30, so we left the seminar and headed back. The demo went well, and I had two friends and my family show up to check out what Brian and I have been up to. They know the positive impact it has had on my life, and I was glad they came.


After the demo, we hung out at the dojo and watched kung-fu flicks for a bit, did some talking.

And, I got home and got to continue a series of emails with Jen. What an absolutely fascinating conversation we've been having. And a wonderful start to a friendship.

If I was a cat I'd be purring I'm so content right now.

Check this out, click here I dig this, very cool little bit.

Errrrrrrrrrrr

So I sat down to write this post, and I've just drawn a complete blank.

I was going to comment on the ability of some of my friends to surprise me. However, when I really thought about it, I wasn't surprised. I just wasn't disappointed for a change. It's a pretty nice feeling, and not one that I'm used to.

I was also going to comment on beginnings, but I think I'm going to savor that a bit more before I post on it.


I think I'll be content posting this today:



Sometimes we all deserve better than we're dealt. How we handle those times defines who we are.

And sometimes we need to remember that we deserve the good times when they happen.

And sometimes the sun does shine just for you, no matter what anyone else thinks :).

Sleep

I'm starting to wonder about sleep.

I swear as I get older I need less and less. I am now at the point that I average less than 6 hours a night. I normally fall asleep around 12:30, and even if I don't set my alarm, I wake up at 6.

At night my mind refuses to shut down. I can meditate, I can workout, I can read, I can do whatever else one may think of at bedtime, it doesn't matter. I simply cannot fall asleep.

In the morning, same thing. My mind is already racing by the time my eyes open. I'm already thinking about the day ahead and what needs to be done. I can turn off the alarm, I can keep the room dark, it doesn't matter. I'm awake, and I might as well get up.

I will say I don't remember having this problem when I'm dating someone.

I'm a big fan of lazy weekend days in bed with a significant other, especially when the weather's nice and sunny.

Would it not be ironic to wish to not be single anymore so that I could catch up on some sleep?

So I kind of intentionally started something at work today. And I got a really surprising response.

I've been very frustrated the past week waiting around for work, waiting for people to get back to me, etc. This is mostly due to people doing things very inefficiently on our scheduling side of things or blatantly disregarding some of the guidelines we have in place.

So today I had no billable hours. Through no fault of my own. So, I took some initiative and took some projects off one of my boss' hands (with his permission). So stuff he's been sitting on for 2 weeks, all 4 projects, I called each customer and got them scheduled. And then I was still waiting on one of co-workers to finish a job that was supposed to be done last week. So I did what I could around the shop. And then I waited some more. And this has become a common thing the past week or so, and if there is 1 thing I cannot stand, it's being BORED.

SO, I snapped. I wrote a big email, with the support of the other tech, and said "Hey, we're doing this wrong. Give me control, let me fix it." I was respectful, laid out reasonings, and gave possible solutions. I stated past experience managing this part of a business 10 times our size, and offered to take it over. The caveat was that I got full control of service. All requests for service go through me. With appropriate guidance from the owners, and the understanding that I was sure to make mistakes along the way, and that I would need help to do it.

And the response so far from one of the owners was "I agree, as far as I'm concerned it's yours now." So we are meeting tomorrow or Friday to hammer it out. And this is my path upwards, just like my boss said was coming :).

I'm excited, I think :) !!!!

Questions:

Ok, here are some answers to your questions:

First, I never loan out a book I expect to get back. Books, like music, are meant to be shared and enjoyed. I'll go buy another copy after a certain period of time without getting a book back. That period of time is dependent on the person I gave the book.


Karen:

You are always welcome to borrow books. I do have a few that I won't loan out because they are signed, or they are hard to find. These I read once, then they get saved for my children/next of kin.

I'm somewhat gentle with my books, but no, I have no rules on spines. If a book gets beat up, that means it's being read. That means the knowledge is passed on, which means the book has accomplished it's purpose, and shouldn't we all be so lucky?

I don't make notes in my books. I keep everything in my head, so there is no need to. You remember that I told you that when I get going I don't see words, I see pictures, right? I don't write on pictures either :). If you are returning a book I give you, I ask that you not write in them.

Jen:

1.) No, I don't think they are all scary. One of the least scary if you want to try, and damn good story at that is Insomnia. The antagonist is in his 70's :). Another would be Hearts in Atlantis, also The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon.

2.) Answered above.

3.) I'm just getting into them again, about halfway through House Harkonnen. I find them very worthy. I also enjoy Kevin J. Anderson co-writing them. His Star Wars novels were good, these are much better. I highly recommend the prequels, especially if you are a Dune fan like I am. Love the series, love the vision.

4.) I'll send you an email on that as well, but I'm going to recommend Stranger in a Strange Land, by Robert Heinlein for you. If you are investigating spirtuality right now, there is much you can grok there. You'll understand the term grok after you read the book :). I will tell you that reading this book at a critical point in my life after my divorce really helped me get some perspective on my life, and very positively shaped the person that I am today. I do look for meaning in many places, and Golden Age Science Fiction stories are rich with social commentary that can be useful.


Ok, bring the questions on, or do you want me to list even more books?

Book List

Ok, so by request, I'm going to list some of my favorite books here. This list will be long for some, short for others, I'm sure some won't care. These are books I will read over and over. Every book listed here, save for 2 that I just finished recently, I've read at least twice, most I've read more than that. Some are series, some are singles. All of them mean something to me in some way.


The Wheel of Time, Robert Jordan (11 books, not finished writing)

The Dark Tower, Stephen King (7 books)

The Song of Ice and Fire, George R. R. Martin (4 books, not finished)

The Eternal Champion series, Michael Moorcock (Around 30 books, never really finished, loosely connected)

The Foundation series, Isaac Asimov (7 books or so, countless short stories. Scifi Great at his best)

Invasion: Earth, L.Ron Hubbard (10 books, done before he went insane and created Dianetics)

The Dune series, Frank Herbert (5 books, plus a whole bunch of new prequels by his son)

The Pendragon Cycle, Stephen Lawhead (Really cool Arturian retelling, 5 books)

The Lord of the Rings, J. R. R. Tolkien (Duh)

It, Stephen King

Insomnia, Stephen King

The Stand, Stephen King

The War of the Worlds, H.G Wells

The Island of Dr. Moreau, H.G. Wells

Rising Sun, Michael Crichton

Congo, Michael Crichton

Disclosure, Michael Crichton

All Agatha Christie novels

All Sherlock Holmes novels

The unabridged works of Shakespeare



Alright, that's a good start. When I'm really on a reading kick, I finish a book a week, sometimes more. For me, that means at least 500 pages, I don't like short books :). My friends sometimes refer to my house as the library because I like to keep the books I've read. I'm lucky enough to have a damn good memory, so I can discuss almost any book I've read at any time, no matter how long ago I read it. I absolutely love to discuss what I've read :).

Book

So, I just finished another book. Pretty quick read, considering the amount of time I've had to read it, but very good I thought.

Fevre Dream, by George R.R. Martin.

It's a little difficult to pigeon hole as a horror book, but it does deal with vampires. It's set on the Mississippi in the 1850's, right at the height of the steamboat era. Not surprisingly, one of the leads is a steamboat captain. There is a very decent nature vs. nuture type argument kept up throughout the book. Martin can be very graphic in his descriptions, but it's not over the top here.

Considering his best known work is all fantasy based, and hardcore fantasy at that, this is a wonderful departure.

I recommend it.

Gap

Sorry for the gap in coverage dear readers. I've been sick, really sick. Food poisoning (my own fault, but I won't get into that). Started Wednesday midday. So I ate Tuesday night (the meal that got me sick), then didn't eat until I had lunch with Karen on Thursday. I've not really been hungry, but I've been able to eat a few times since then. I'll spare you the disgusting details, but my system still isn't back to normal, not by any stretch of the imagination. Let's just say I can sleep for about 2 hours, then I have to get up and use the bathroom. Blech.

I did get some great news yesterday. I had my year review yesterday over lunch (hehehe, ya, that was tough, trying to talk to my boss over food that was turning my stomach.). It went incredibly well. They are very, very happy with what I am doing, and as a result, they gave me a 7.5% raise. I absolutely can't complain about that, and my boss let me know that they see big things for me if I keep doing what I am doing.

You really can't ask for a better review I think. Makes me feel somewhat like all my hard work is worth it.

What happened..........

Alright, so here’s what happened for those interested.

 

 

After staying at my place two Thursdays ago, Rachel went out of town for the weekend. I didn’t hear from her when she got back. We touched base once or twice last week, mainly at class. In normal conversation, she mentioned several times that she felt like her entire summer was booked, with weddings, going out of town, etc, etc, etc.

 

So, I wasn’t sure if that was a hint that she wasn’t interested. I’m not too savvy in the feminine mystique anymore, if I ever was to begin with. She had plans for the entire holiday weekend, although she was supposed to call on Friday and never did. So I talked to Karen on Sunday and asked for some advice on what to do. Karen confirmed my initial plan of letting Rachel know that I was interested when things slowed down for her, so I crafted the email that I’ve posted below.

 

Start

 

Hi there, hope your visit home was good.

I just wanted to let you know that I've been doing some reflecting the past few days, and our conversation from 10 days ago really stands out in my mind. I felt like we connected on some level, and I really enjoyed being able to share some of my experiences with you. I hope that it was as enjoyable for you as well.

I know your schedule is crazy right now with finals and what not coming up soon. I have a great deal of respect for how hard you are working towards what you want to do. When things calm down for you some, I'd love to take you out for a date if you are willing. I'd like the opportunity to find out what other levels we might connect on.

Good luck on your finals, and getting your papers done. If you need to blow off steam or decompress some, give me a call.

Tom

 

End

 

So I sent that on Sunday evening. Monday afternoon I got an email back from her. I won’t post that here, but it said that she was extremely flattered, and agreed that we connected, but thought that we didn’t connect in the same way. She said she hoped we could still hang out and be friends. I of course replied positively to both, and I apologized if I made her uncomfortable in any way.

 

 

So that’s what happened for those interested. Obviously I’m disappointed, but I’m also going to be realistic about this. She’s the first woman I’ve really asked out since the divorce, which was final 3 years ago this June. So I don’t think I did too bad, and I haven’t jeopardized the friendship I think.

 

I’m happy I didn’t try to play any games, as some suggested I do. That would have made things worse I think. It certainly would have prolonged any uncertainty, and I don’t deal well with that.

 

Eventually I’ll find someone that can handle the straightforward and caring way I approach things, right?

 

 

Well, that's that then

Well, forget all that girl stuff. I got the notice that there is absolutely no interest there from the romantic side of things.

Part of me feels a little used, most of me is just disappointed.

All of me knows it's probably just my fault anyway, and I read too much into whatever.


After an exhausting weekend, this is a wonderful way to end it.

Oh how I look forward to this week.

Backing Winds: May 26th chase

Backing Winds: May 26th chase

Neat Pictures

Counsel

Right, so my biggest concern right now, and this has been bugging me all week, is this question:


Who counsels the counselor?



Again and again I am faced with this, and I'm just not sure why. At this point, it has to be my fault. I am either picking friends very poorly, or I'm not letting them know I need to talk in any type of effective manner. If it's the former, I don't know what to do about that. If it's the latter, then I need someone to help me figure out how to communicate better, which is difficult if I can't communicate that to them in the first place.


I eventually work through things when left to my own devices, but it means days of being in a bad mood or just being depressed. The worse the problem is, the longer the time period necessary.

Maybe some of my poor mood the past few days is just being tired of feeling like the only person walking the path.

"Vampire" To Protest White Castle's Garlic Sandwich

"Vampire" To Protest White Castle's Garlic Sandwich

Blah week

Ya, definitely a blah week.

I'm not sure what the deal is, but I have yet to deal with a pleasant person this week. Every place I've gone, everything I've done, I've run into assholes.

I must look like everyone's outlet. I have been bitched at for things out of my control.
I have been ripped by customers for things other people have done.
I got bitched at when a customer caused a problem (I was supposed to know she would do that, and make sure she couldn't. No really, that's what I was told.)
I took the brunt of a bad day from another customer today, this time because their fax machine broke. I don't work on fax machines, never have.
Even people I know and that know me have been on edge. I have yet to talk with a friend this week without it getting ugly in some way for the most part.


I'm just not understanding it. I've been super extra nice to everyone the past two weeks because I've been in such a good mood, and instead of getting that back, it's been the opposite. The couple of times I've needed to talk no one has been available for whatever reason.

I had a hard time getting up this morning, and I've had a real hard time staying in a good mood today. Physical Therapy was extremely difficult this morning, and my pain level has been worse today than it has been in 3 weeks.

I suppose the good mood had to crash sometime, I just wasn't expecting it in this way I guess.

Done!

So I had a long post posted already, but I decided to get rid of it. It was too preachy, and I was too frustrated at the time I wrote it.



Instead, I finished the last book of the Dark Tower series. It's done.


One of the best experiences I've had. It's not all pretty, some of it is horrifying, but it is worthy.

Monday

Long day, though I can't say much went on. I heard from Rachel and saw her at the dojo, so that was cool. Trying to keep things light for a while yet. I think my only concern so far is how busy she is. Very typical grad student, and that might be an impediment to anything for a while yet.

Not going to worry about it :).

I got to talk to someone I knew when I was kid today. Ran into them in Kroger's in West Chester. She stopped me, and I completely didn't recognize her. She said she didn't really recognize me either, but had overheard me say something when I was on the phone and knew it was me. It was kind of strange. She complimented how I looked, said I looked better than I did in high school, wanted to know how things were. She asked about my ex-wife, and I explained that situation to some extent to her since she went to high school with her. She was shocked, and very apologetic. ( I still don't get that really, it happened, no one could control that, and that's that.) She showed off her new child, which was a very cute little girl not more than 6 months old.

Now, all this stands out in my mind perhaps because I had somewhat of a crush on this girl when I was early in high school, but she never really gave me the time of day. My, how times change. I won't say that she blew up, but it's close. She looks closer to 40 than the 31 she is, and I mean that in most negative ways you can think of. I could tell she was shocked I didn't look the same. (I'm actually in better shape right now than I was in high school, and I wasn't too horrible then.)

It made me feel really good, and really bad for her at the same time. If she is any indication of what marrying early and having kids does to you (and my brother and his wife are starting to look this way at 27 for him and 23 for her), then no thank you. Everyone looks so stressed, so tired, so OLD. I guess perhaps I'm glad in that aspect that I'm no longer married.

It may be selfish and vain I suppose, but I tend to think of it as mature and patient instead. Those things will come when they come. People live longer nowadays anyway, no need to rush and have kids by 30. 30 isn't the halfway point of life anymore like it was for our grandparents and their parents. There are no wars to shorten our lifespans, and medicine gets better every day. When women in their 60's can have children these days (regardless of whether or not you think that's right), why is everyone in a rush to have them right now?

Full

Well, I was hoping to hear from Rachel tonight, but doesn't look like that's going to happen, which is ok.

I got a ton done this weekend. It took some rather forceful urging, but I finally have my house to myself with nobody's stuff taking up room. I got the entire upstairs cleaned and vaccuumed. I got my bathroom scrubbed. I got the basement floor scrubbed, and the rest of the old carpet cut up and sat out for trash. I went grocery shopping. I got the carpet shampooed in the great room. The house is finally starting to feel clean again.

On top of all of this, I had time to go to the dojo Saturday. I tossed frisbee with Brian for a bit, which was a bit more stenuous on the ankle than I anticipated. Went out to dinner last night with Brian. Hilarious mexican place over by him. Hilarious for two reasons: First, they have a sign that says "Aqui hay Bimbo" (Here we have Bimbo). Obviously Bimbo is some brand name in Mexico, but it was damn funny half drunk. Also hilarious because this restaurant has a "Viking Combo" consisting of various mexican pieces of a meal. I'm not sure any real Viking would have EVER had anything remotely similar to the meal Brian and I had, but it was there, so we had to get it. Greg came over today, which was cool since I haven't seen him in like a month.


All in all it was a pretty good weekend, and I'm interested to see where things go this week.

Sadness

No readers, not over the girl. Things are fine there, though she's in Columbus for the weekend.

Damnable book! Another character has died, and I stopped reading the other day as soon as I saw it coming. I worked up the courage to read that part today. I will unashamedly say I cried like a little baby. It was hard to finish that part. Very hard. King describes the grief of one of the characters that survived in a very poignant way, and that really got to me this morning. I'm sure the emotional rollercoaster I've been on the past week didn't help, but I cried.

And honestly, it felt pretty good. I'm going to try to push to finish the book this weekend I think, if I can stand sitting that long.

Update

Ok, so here's what happened last night.

I got to play hero again. She ran out of gas on the way to my place, and I had to run and rescue her. She was pretty embarassed, so I really downplayed it and told her not to worry about it, and I made sure to tell her about my times running out in the past. That made her feel better. She had some work to do, so I read while she did what she needed to. (BTW, Stephen King JUST KILLED ONE OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS, and ^&*&$(%^O& if he didn't kill one I wasn't expecting him to. I was shocked)

We hung out for a bit after that, talked about a few things. Time went by way too fast, and before we knew it it was 2AM. I offered to let her crash, and she accepted. I was a complete gentleman the whole time, and I offered to take the couch if she wanted the bed. She was fine with the couch she said, so I got blankets and pillows for her.

She was still sleeping this morning when I had to leave for physical therapy. She woke up briefly, and I told her to sleep as long as she would like. She thanked me, and went back to sleep.

I'm cool with everything so far. Patience, patience, patience.

Wowed

Right, so, I was planning on laying low tonight. I decided I wasn't going to call her, just so as not to appear too over-eager. I really don't trust my judgements in this area right now, been way too long since I've had to play this game. So, I start cleaning around the house, doing various odds and ends.

My mom calls. She and I had somewhat of an argument, and for the first time in I don't know how long, she called back to apologize. And who calls while I'm talking? Exactly. And I can't get my mom to stop talking long enough to ask her to hang on a second. AAAAHHHHH!!!!! So, the call goes to voicemail, and she leaves a voicemail. I finally catch a pause in mom's rant, and I explain to her that I need to call her back and why. She immediately says "Why didn't you say something?"

So I call back, and of course it goes to voicemail. AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! And my fat fingers accidentally delete the voicemail before I can hear it. AAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!

The next hour and a half are pure agony. I completely forgot how much this waiting part of things sucked!!!!! I find as much as possible to keep myself busy. I start to think that maybe her voicemail was telling me not to call her or something. Oh my, how my mind goes nuts. Several times I ALMOST call her again and I hold off.


Finally, she just called. And asked to come over.

I'm so incredibly excited. And I'm going to play it as cool as possible. Oh what butterflies I have right now!!!!!

Update

So, the past few days have been interesting. A woman that I am interested in has been over at my house the past three evenings. It has been nice to have someone to talk to.

 

Monday night was nothing special, really just getting started on a friendship. Tuesday was much the same. Last night however, Brian was hanging out at my place after Kung Fu and she stopped by as well. I fixed everyone dinner, and we hung out and had a good time. Brian left around 11. She stayed behind, and our conversation quickly turned serious.

 

She’s in an odd place in her life right now, and I was immediately able to draw some corollaries to the time I spent after my divorce. So, we started talking about it. She expressed some frustration with her graduate studies in Psychology. It basically came down to a question of belief. I asked her if she believed that what she was doing was helping her clients. She said she didn’t know, wasn’t sure what she believed. She said she felt like she didn’t have a personal base to draw from to help people. She felt like everything was coming apart, all her friends had gone separate ways, so she really didn’t know where she was.

 

This is exactly where I was after my divorce. I had no base, felt like my friends were retards. The group disintegrated slowly from there, and that didn’t help the situation.

 

I explained all of this to her, and explained what I’ve done since then to find that base and get my life in order again. I explained it was important to have a few good friends to help you find that. For me, those people were (are) Karen and Brian.

 

As I explained some of this, understanding that this was a highly personal area, she started to cry. She said it was nice to finally talk to someone who understood where she was coming from. She felt like those around her didn’t take things so seriously, and were only interested in having fun. (Boy, sounds familiar, eh?) We discussed some of what she’s been taught in psych classes, and how that jived or didn’t with the bit of psychology I took in school. The conversation was absolutely great.  So, we continued to talk about various things regarding these deep philosophical notions. Until a little after 1AM. At which point I was having difficulty sitting still because my ankle hurt so badly after a 16 hour day before any of this started. I offered her either my bed (with me sleeping on the couch) or the couch if she wanted to crash rather than drive home, but she politely refused and went on her way.

 

It was a pretty good night, and even if the romantic connection doesn’t develop the way that I hope it might, I feel like I’ve at least found another kindred soul. She views things much the same way I do.

 

I can’t wait to talk to her again. I sent her an email early this morning telling her to keep her chin up, and that she was welcome to call me anytime if she needed to vent or talk. I also told her if nothing else, to take the email as a reminder that “Someone out there is thinking of you, and wishes you well.”

 

 

Quiet

So, I'm sitting, waiting on dinner to be done. 14 more minutes of simmering, so I've got some time to post a bit.

Challenge #1 to Al came and went today with nothing to report. Not surprised, not even disappointed. It was expected. I would have been shocked had he shown up.

It was a busy day, lots to get done, and lots got done. That's enough said there I think.

I've found myself in a really weird place for me. I'm having trouble finishing my book. (#7 in the Dark Tower series by Stephen King, the last book). Not because it's difficult, or because I can't get into it. I'm having trouble finishing it because I don't want to finish it.

This is by far one of the best series of books I have ever read. Period. It's not normal Stephen King scary, blood and guts, shock type writing. This story means something to him, and you can tell it on every page. I've been overwhelmed with the writing. I've been excited in spots, to the point where my legs bounce with nervous energy wondering what's going to happen. I've been overcome with happiness in places, laughing out loud or just smiling like the cat that ate the canary. I've even cried in spots that were particularly poignant. He ties together a great many of his stories into this story, and it's incredible what the man is able to pull off. He redeems a character that everyone had to believe was lost in Salem's Lot. He explains more about his big villain, Randall Flagg. The list goes on and on. He brings in the Wizard of Oz, ZZ Top, every Clint Eastwood western you've ever seen, Harry Potter (a particularly briliant way of doing that honestly), robot warriors, vampires, telekinetic powers, religion and lack thereof, I could go on for hours.

I don't want it to be over. I don't want to finish it. And yet, I'm thankful he has finished it. His accident a few years ago, and his brush with death as a result, spurred him to finish what he called his greatest work, one that he would finish and then quit writing for good when it was done. His accident changed everything, and we are richer for that.

Mother's Day Rap- Mr. T. Style! VideoSift

Mother's Day Rap- Mr. T. Style! VideoSift

In honor of mother's day!

Thursday conversations

Well, seems Thursday is turning into a night to have discussions.

Last night I went out with Brian and Al, and we ended up discussing a great many things. Mostly why things in the "group" have disintegrated so badly, and what, if anything, should be done about it.

My main point was that nothing really should be done. People, and friends, and groups of friends change over time. It's a natural process, and there is nothing wrong with it.

That's not really I think what Al wanted to hear, but he was at least listening to what I was saying for the most part. He expressed some dissatisfaction with his own life, and I challenged him to change it. We'll see what he decides to do.

The night was fine up until the end. The conversation got pretty heated regarding a certain member of the group. Brian and I somewhat teamed up regarding this. Factor in like 6 pitchers of beer, and things got a little ugly. Al ended up walking out. That was pretty much the end of the night.

I got a text message apologizing for walking out last night, which was a promising sign I think.

Well, I was going to post.............

I had a post planned out I think, but then I saw this, and I just have to post it.

This warms my heart, and I laughed out loud when I read it.


I would absolutely volunteer for them, what a fabulous concept.

It's interesting to think what a similar campaign might do in New York, or Chicago, or Los Angeles. What type of press coverage would there be?

It's even more interesting to think what a similar campaign might do right here............

Dr. Update

I'm evidently a freak of nature, as some of you must already suspect, and others of you have been claiming for years............

The doctor was planning on having me stay in the boot for at least a few more weeks, perhaps as many as 5. However, based on xrays today, tests, and physical therapy results, he removed almost all of my restrictions. I've been given clearance to resume doing whatever I want to do.

He could not believe I had as much mobility and strength as what I do, which is weird for me because it feels so weak to me. He also said that he could no longer see anything on the xrays, which means it's healed clean.

It was a mostly wonderful report from the doctor, and much better than I had hoped for. I even got to go to the dojo tonight and start working again. It was painful, but in a good way. The leg has a loooooong way to go yet.

There was at least a bit of bad news though. The right ankle, my good one, will have to have the same procedure done at some point in the future. No timetable for it, but it's at least a year off, if not more.

Quiet

So, there are more things for them to move yet, but Kris and Darlene moved into their new house yesterday.

The house has been blessedly quiet today. I'm not sure there is any other way to put it.

This week, the work begins in cleaning and un-babifying the house.

But first, doctor tomorrow to find out what's next for the foot. Specifically what is to be done with the toes that don't work yet.

Friday

At least it's Friday. And the sun is out. These are good things.

I'm sorry to have been so long between posts. Besides the ridiculous schedule I've been on, I've been pondering what to say.

The answer is: I don't know.

I'm glad Kris and Darlene are finally moving out this weekend. That will help my piece of mind quite a bit. I'm tired of feeling like a prisoner in my own house. Hell, not even my house, my room. The rest of the house is an obstacle course of baby crap, and I'm tired of going to bed hurt every night because of having to get around baby gates and whatnot with a bad foot.

I'm worn out today. I'm incredibly tired from being sick this week, and from physical therapy. I feel like I've been run over by a truck.

I stopped by my aunt and uncle's place last night unannounced on my way back from a call. They were happy to see me. They expressed some serious concern over my mom's health, and that was surprising. I'm not sure what to make of that yet. I also of course got the "Are you seeing anyone" question, as always. I'm not sure why no one gets tired of asking it. I sure get tired of answering it.

I've had several people this week make arguments that ignorance is bliss (or similar such nonsense.) Self imposed ignorance, claiming that everything is alright when it's not because you just don't want to deal with it, is the height of stupidity in my opinion, and I get tired of people defending themselves this way. Just because you ignore a problem doesn't mean it's not there, take it from someone that learned the hard way.


I'm going to post some more this weekend, I promise that.